Im heartbroken, Im absolutely heartbroken. Im too sick to go out. Im too fucking sick to go out. I spent most of the day in my bed, literally unable to get up. At one point I decided that I'd get up and get a shower because I was cold and showers usually make me feel better. I couldnt stand up in the shower because I was afraid I'd fall, so I sat on the floor of the tub and cried because I knew I wasnt going to be able to go out tonight. I was already talking to Janice (well, trying to talk, I wasnt succeeding very well) and I told her that if I felt better later I'd take a run out just to see everybody. I cant describe how upset I am at being this sick. I wasnt this sick yesterday goddammit! Its not even The Cough, Im just feeling generally ill. Im weak and tired, and I cant eat at all. I tried drinking orange juice and it burned my throat. I think Im going to go get another shower and hope that it will give me enough energy to run out to Janice's to at least see everybody for a little while. This isnt fair.

I feel like Im wrecked. I had three tablespoons of cough syrup a little while ago, even though the recommended dosage said two. Im only going to wake up coughing later on, so I figured I'd try and at least knock myself out so that the coughing wont wake me up. So, yes, obviously I now have the cough. I can handle most parts of being sick, except for the cough. And, honestly, its not even bad now. As long as I breathe carefully, and try not to talk, Im good. And I use the word "talk" loosely. At this point its more of a hoarse whisper. I couldnt take calls today. I took one call, and it was horrible. Im lucky that buddy just wanted to know if his new video card was compatable with the game. I had no idea.. Anyway, not long after that Jonathan came over and asked me if I wanted to do data entry for the Sirius Canada contract (I can name that contract, they dont have a confidentiality clause). He came to me first cuz he knew I couldnt talk, and I swear I coulda kissed him. I spent most of the day sitting with a group of people in one of the basement training rooms entering data into the database. It was awesome, I didnt have to talk!

New Year's Eve is tomorrow and I cant wait. Janice overdid herself on the food, and I dont even know if I'll be able to eat. I had McD's chicken nuggets for lunch and havent eaten since. Im just not hungry. I'll be wikkid drunk though.

This is horrible, I feel like Im stoned. Im falling asleep sitting here and I dont think its because Im sick, I think its just the cough medicine. I should let it knock me out before I start coughing again.

Guess who lost five pounds! If you guessed that it was me, you'd be one hundred percent correct. You deserve a cookie!

I got home from work today and napped for a little while. Then I got up and went to the hospital where I spent two and a half hours in the ER just to see a doctor for five minutes. Boo to that. I did get a prescription though, and tomorrow I'll have an inhaler! I get way too excited over these things.

After the hospital I came home and learned that the gift exchange was going ahead as planned so I headed to Kim's where I got awesome gifts from Kim, Amy, and Angela. I hadnt planned on staying as long as I did, because Im sick, but I was having way too much fun. You can tell that because I can no longer talk.

Im all sick and out of my groove so words escape me today. Saturday will be a blast though, I really cant wait for that!

Sick! Yesterday afternoon my flu started breaking through the Advil barrier that I had put up. I didnt pop any more Advil because I was home and I figured I'd just go to bed and fight it. Well, that didnt work and I now have a very bad chest cold. I mean bad. I was waking up every two hours or so because I couldnt breathe. It felt like I was drowning. I couldnt cough anything up because when I coughed it felt like there was a lump of something sitting in my throat blocking it. That, and it all hurt. My body doesnt often scare me, but last night I was scared. Once I got up and got a shower this morning I felt a little better. I came to work and took my usual cocktail of pills (two Advil Cold & Sinus and four Extra Strength Tylenol) and I feel alright now. That's not alright as in "better", that's alright as in I can sit here and breathe despite all of the fluid in my lungs. I think it is in my best interest to go to the ER tonight before this turns into something really bad.

I would be lying if I said that I havent eaten since Tuesday. Yesterday morning I ate two Tim Horton's peanut butter cookies at work, but other than that, I havent eaten anything since Tuesday evening when I had two tea biscuits before bed. Im that sick that I literally have no appetite. This isnt normal for me.

Those are the new slippers that I got for Christmas.

As much as I hate my normal contract at work, I cant wait to go back. I cant say that I absolutely hate the new contract, I just get really frusterated because the training was nil, and I dont even know where to begin as far as troubleshooting goes. Our helpdesk? That's in India. Trust me, they're not very helpful at all. I had the option to go back to my regular contract today, but I was promised a free game at the end of this, and I want my free game.

Every two desks get to share a crash box to play games on. I prefer playing Age games, but the boys play Halo on the lan. JB and I have been sharing that crash box. Today we came in and the person that had been sitting there during night shift had fucked the computer royally. I know who this person was, but they must have been trying to download cracks for one of the games, and downloaded a shitload of trojans. Once the computer booted, if you closed all of the errors out it would blue screen. If you didnt close the errors out, the computer wouldnt run properly. Between what JoJo and Jeff were doing trying to fix it, I managed to be able to play AoE2 for the afternoon. When I was leaving, Jonathan and Wayne were working at it trying to get the crap off of it. Why they didnt just have IT reimage the thing I have no idea.

My intention today was to leave work and go to Curves, but I got stuck on a call and was more than an hour and a half late getting out of work. That, and Im sick, I just didnt feel like going. Maybe I'll go tomorrow. I must say though, Advil Cold & Sinus is da bomb. I would be ten times sicker than I am if I wasnt popping pills.

Tomorrow I get to socialize and exchange gifts at Kim's. I am probably going to get all camera happy, being as how I am in love with my camera.

Im tired, I think I need a nap.

Here's something fun to try: when you're at work, doing something that you're not quite sure of, let them assign you to a task that you have no idea what the hell to do. Then make sure that the customers are able to tell that you have no idea what you're doing, leaving you so frusterated that you're in tears on the floor. Trust me guys, its awesome.

Its like there's so much going on that I have nothing to say. My mind cannot formulate words to describe everything. Sorry.

My birthday is six months from today (also on a Monday). I will be 25. I am afraid to turn 25. Soo... who's going to come to Halifax with me to help me drown my sorrows celebrate?

Naturally because I was actually looking forward to Christmas this year, I get sick. Not just a few sniffles, but goddamn flu sick. I was fine yesterday until Mother made me go to church. As soon as I sat down in the pew my throat was sore. I chalked it up to stale air, and proceeded to spend the rest of mass fantasizing about mounting the guy sitting next to me. My body was sore by the time we got home and I really needed sleep, but I went home and got in the shower and got ready to go. At this point I knew I was sick. At Freddie's I had sniffles and a runny nose, but that was because they have a cat, which also caused by breathing issues. I was still "okay". We got home and opened presents and whatnot, and I totally didnt think I would get a camera. It was the one thing I asked for, and she glared at me when I asked for it. I got a red Samsung Digimax A402, if you feel like Googling it. I also got all of my clothes, plus the normal stocking stuffer type things. I was up until about 1am.

This morning I woke up about eight miserable. I was tired, but I couldnt get comfortable in bed because my body was aching too badly, so I went upstairs and tried to sleep on the couch. I couldnt even drink anything because it felt like I was swallowing glass. I went back down to my bed and crashed until Mom woke me up at a little after eleven to get ready to go to dinner. I was nausious, and I dont get like that when Im sick. I fought with her because I was in bad shape and just wanted to go back to bed. (A little note, when I get really sick, I get really sooky and emotional) I was crying when I got into the shower, just because. I felt a little better after my shower and I got ready and we went to dinner. Dinner was a blast, and I have tons of pictures. I really hope that I dont wake up tomorrow in the shape I was today because I have to start on that new game contract, and its a ten hour shift. Grr. But at least after that I'll be going to Flora's for our annual Boxing Day dinner/gifts. Yay!

Its officially December 25th, so Happy Holydays!

We've already opened presents at my house and I got the clothes I knew about, plus some that I didnt. My huge surprise was that Mom actually got me a camera. What's the first picture Im going to share with the internet? Why, Lady Emma, of course. Im off to bed now, its been a long day :)

The Great Christmas War of 2005 is over. I've raised my white flag. Im going to mass with her. I know, I know, it goes against my better belief system, but sometimes you just have to suck it up on behalf of someone else. I warned her though, not to dare look at me crossways later when Im cranky from lack of nap.

So, Im currently tracking Santa's whereabouts via NORAD. I suggest you do the same, lest he sneak up on you.

The Great Christmas War of 2005 has already begun.

Its just about eleven at night. Im just getting home from my aunt's with Mother and the rest where they trade baked goods. I had told her that I needed to be home early because I have to get up at half past five for work. She assured me that we'd be home by ten. Yeh. So I pull in the driveway and she informs me that she expects me to attend mass with her tomorrow afternoon. If I didnt know better I would have swore she had been drinking. So I ask her how she's going to expect me to get up at half past five for work, go to work for five hours, spend the afternoon helping her make hors d'oeuvres, go to mass, come home and get ready to go out for the evening? Not only that, but after we get home (which will be around eleven if we're lucky) we have to come home and open gifts because my brother is working on Sunday. When does this leave me time to nap? As it is I now have to start doing laundry because I was gone all day and couldnt do it. I havent had any sleep the past two nights, and Im expected to skip my nap tomorrow to make her feel better. Mass is at four, but we're going to have to leave at three because it will be packed with people who dont normally go to church, its going to be at least an hour. I cant even be sure it wont be more than that because I havent been to mass since Fr. Neville left here and that was a good three years ago. I couldnt tell you the names of the current priests, to be honest. This is all besides the fact that I dont believe it anymore. So Im going to be there until at least five, which means that it'll be half past by the time that they all chat afterwards and she drops everyone off. Kay, so we have to be at my uncle Freddie's for sevenish, when the hell am I going to get to nap? Im going to need at least forty-five minutes to get ready. And then she'll be pissy if Im cranky by the end of the night. Ohmigosh that woman drives me insane sometimes.

Best quote I've heard in a long time comes to us today from Stella at work:

You've heard the phrase, its not the size of the ship, but the motion of the ocean? Well, have you ever tried getting to England in a rowboat?

One more sleep and then presents!

After I was talking to Kim online yesterday afternoon I crashed and slept for two hours. At that moment, my mother arrived home and baking commenced. My allotted task was to grate twenty-four blocks of bakers chocolate. My right arm was killing me! Multiply four blocks per pan of squares by six pans of squares and that equals a very sore right arm. All the baking is now done though, I think the last pans came out of the oven at ten, or half past (it was late at that point and I wasnt keeping track). Im glad its done and over with. The trade off is tonight. Food!

Janice got out of work early, and stopped in while I was grating (she was hiding from people who didnt need to know she got home early, my house is a fine place to do that), and I got to share my wonderful news that I will be off New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, and guess what? So is she! This is very exciting. It meant that we could finally lay some sort of concrete plans for that evening. ~*~[begin transmit]: So Janice suggested a start time of maybe sevenish (or arrive between seven and eight is fine), so that Jason could partake in a little of the festivities before he goes to work. She is making a dip. I think Im making a meat and cheese tray (think). I have to let Susan know to make/bring something. Psst.. Kim makes good cookies. Also, if anyone else wants to provide foodstuffs for the evening we will eat it. Also, we were discussing the drink situation, whereas rather than everybody bringing their own, we go splits on a few mixes and some vodka. I had mentioned it around and nobody had objected, so if anybody has any objections, let me know. Janice is still planning on going to the bar just before the countdown so that she can be with Jason. So, if there's any suggestions or anything, let me (or Janice) know :) [end transmit]~*~

Anyway, we were being all girly and discussing what were going to be wearing. We're both dressing up jeans (new jeans of course), and we've figured out what Im going to do to Janice's nails. I know what I want to do to my nails, but they're too short :(. I think I'll be going down to Janice's before the party and flat ironing her hair, because Paul will be working Friday night and then Saturday until 7pm. Also, Paul might be coming out with us, he doesnt know yet. If his friends are going to the gay dance then he'll go with them, but if they're not doing anything in particular he'll be coming with us. That's perfectly fine. It would mean that if I had to get a cab home it wouldnt be by myself. Bonus.

Janice stayed until half past eleven cuz Paul was doing her eyebrows, and then my eyebrows, and then our toes ;) Im tired today though. Its a good thing we're over an hour between calls.

PS I still owe Kim a Rice Krispie snowman!

I got my new shift. My schedule for the next two weeks goes a little somethin' like this:

Sunday: off
Monday: 9am-8pm
Tuesday: 9am-8pm
Wednesday: 9am-2pm
Thursday: 9am-2pm
Friday: 9am-8pm
Saturday: off

You know what this means right? I can get positively shitfaced come New Year's Eve. Everybody should do a little dance right now to celebrate for me. Go ahead, I certainly did. This Saturday Im off at noon, and then I get Sunday off so I get to go to Christmas dinner. That will make up for missing Boxing Day dinner, but I'll get to Flora's on Boxing Day in time to open presents. Score. And on New Year's Day I'll get to sleep in and recover and then go to Mockey's for another turkey dinner. Its a good thing that Mom is cooking ham, because Im going to be all turkeyed out.

Tell me the Pope doesnt look possessed. He reminds me of Senator Palpatine from Episode 3.

I got sucked into going to Christmas groceries tonight. My back is killing me. It was sore yesterday for a while, but got better. I woke up today and it was sore, but after I got home from Curves it got better again. Then walking around the grocery store strained it or something because Im sitting with my back flat against the wall and it is sore. The weird part is that it's sore on the opposite side than what it usually is. I'll have to haul my ObusForme into work with me tomorrow. Ugh.

Last night Paul and his friends were going out to wings, and Gayle got dropped off here so that her and Paul could get there together. When they were leaving Mom asked Paul how long he was going to be and he said that he didnt know. She said "Well, where is it that you're going?" and he came back with "Wings, porn, sex, and pizza." So Mom, being Mom, said "Well dont go for pizza and come home early". Gayle was half out the door and literally stopped and came back in because she was all shocked that Mom said nothing about the porn or sex. Now you know why Paul and I have the dynamic that we do.

I have a shift bid tomorrow to find out what I'll be working for the next two weeks on the gaming contract. I have no idea what my seniority will be, or even what the hours of the contract are. I will know tomorrow. Also tomorrow I get to spend the evening assisting Mother with the baking (after working all day). And my back is already sore...

My Mom has a really bad gag reflex. If she coughs she can throw up. When she brushes her teeth, she throws up. This is what my brother had in his head when he went shopping for her Christmas present today. He came home with one of those spa foot bath things. You fill it with water and turn it on and it massages your feet. Nice. Anyway, he was also thinking about the gagging thing, so he comes home with Kama Sutra brand minty numbing gel. He bought Mom blowjob gel for Christmas. The instructions on the box imply that it should be applied onto the penis for "lasting pleasure" with "a hint of kissable mint". He bought Mom blowjob gel for Christmas. I had a really good laugh this afternoon, as you can well imagine. Im not going to be the one to explain it to her, he can do that while I'll be doubled over in laughter on Saturday. I cant wait.

Janice got a puppy. She called me last night and informed me of this fact, meaning that I had to go out and visit (I cant resist a puppy). Lady is a mutt, she's got the head of a rottweiler or a pit bull and the arse end of the same type of dog. If I can remember correctly she has Belgian Shepphard, Huskey, and Boston Terrier in her. She will be a big dog. Her paws are bigger than the paws on my Molly (compare an eight week old puppy to a nine year old terrier), and her belly is FAT! She's gotta be the chubbiest puppy I've ever seen. She's adorable! One thing though, I've never seen a puppy who doesnt play. She's very timid and hardly moved the length of herself for most of the night.

When I got home I was looking up dog breeds to see temperment and things. This is a beautiful dog. My Emma is half chow and she's a beautiful looking dog. If you didnt know her origins, you'd guess she was a lab, but that's just because her fur doesnt stand up like that.

So, I follow some webcomics more than I follow shows on television. Anybody who reads Todd and Penguin would know that the storyline last week took a turn where Holly got in an accident and lost the baby. This week is dealing whether or not Holly herself will survive, and how Todd is dealing with it. Anyway, I was checking today for an updated comic and David Wright has a link to Anywhere But Here, a comic I had never read before. I decided to check it out because it was a TAP themed comic and I can honestly admit it moved me. To tears. The internet never makes me cry!

The guy with the red bowtie has the nerve to refer to Canada as being akin to a "retarded cousin"? Like, really now. Conservative Americans seriously scare me. I want to run as far away as I can, or at least across an ocean.

Mom and I made snowmen, and stars. Actually, the three of us did. I dont stir good enough, so Paul stirred the melted marshmallow/butter mix. Than Mom added the Rice Krispies and took over mixing that because, like I said, I dont do it good enough. Mother and I then molded the sticky gooey fun into snowmen and stars. I wasnt going to do stars at all, but Mom decided that she was going to do some, and they turned out nicer than the snowmen, actually. The total count was nineteen snowmen and seven stars. I decorated them by myself, but I had to get Paul to stir the food coloring into the icing because my wrist was sore at that point. I am very impressed with my culinary skillz.

Then mother enlisted me to wrap gifts for her. Get this, the woman had the nerve to suggest that I wrap my own presents. I looked at her, appalled, and said "Woman, are you touched?". Imagine, wrapping my own presents! I said that I'd wrap Paul's but I refused to wrap mine. She did all the wrapping, I just had to haul stuff around for her. My back is killing me. I've been on the go all day, and I still have to make supper. Ugh, tired.

Okay, old women who go to Curves get on my nerves sometimes. Today there was this lady who kept being really slow on the machines. I started probably six stations behind her, and within ten minutes I was waiting directly after her to move off the machine so that I could use it. And some of them she'd go two rounds on them with me directly behind her! Grr I was frusterated.

Then I came home and Mom was home sick from work and she was all "so you're going to spend the afternoon cleaning" (while she sits and watches tv and my brother goes shopping) and I was all like "oh no Im not, Im making Rice Krispies snowmen" and she was all "nuh uh" and I was all "ahuh!" So then I pulled out the "Im not the only one who lives here and Im certainly not the only one home." argument. I'll tidy the kitchen so that I can use it, and then I'll tidy it aftermyself, but I'll be damned if Im playing little miss maid on my days off.

So the tree is decorated and it looks ugly. I expect everyone, though, to look at it and exclaim "Its beautiful!". I need the praise. The house is now fully decorated with lights in windows and everything. Now its to clean all that mess up. Ugh.

Tomorrow I plan on making Rice Krispies treats. I'm not making RK "squares", Im making snowmen AND THEY'RE GOING TO BE PRETTY. I even bought stuff to decorate them with, even though Sobey's was raped of their red sprinkles and silver ball things. That made me furrow my brow and pout. Oh, and I've also bought the largest can of frosting I've ever seen when I know Im not going to use all of it. I want to just rest tonight, I feel like I've had a busy week.

For most of the day today I've had the urge to have mad make-outs with somebody. Im practically drooling over it.

So yeah, Mom and I got a tree last night. We picked the second one that we saw on the lot (last year we took the first one). It looked FINE on the lot, like Im sure they normally do. I come home from work today and my father was after putting it up in the stand to be decorated, and ohmigosh is it tiny. I think its the smallest tree we've ever had. It looks kind of ugly standing there, maybe it'll look better once its decorated. Maybe.

I just felt the need to vomit when I realized that being single for the holidays meant having nobody to make out with at midnight on New Year's Eve. I dont know why this is such a big deal to me, but color me heartbroken nonetheless.

I'll start off with the good things. I have a good portion of the decorating done. I need to put a few things up in the kitchen, and the lights in the windows and that's it. Mom and I even went and bought a tree last night. Its sitting out on the front step and Im hoping that it'll at least be up in the stand tonight and I can decorate that tomorrow.

I was getting dressed this morning and while doing the obligatory checking-myself-out-in-the-mirror I noticed that even though I still have a belly, I've lost weight on my abdomin under my breasts. It makes my breasts look bigger, gives more definition. Also, I've been noticing that my hips arent as lumpy. This is a very good thing. The only complaint that I have about starting to exercise is that it seems like all I do is eat! Not only that, but Im always craving chocolate. Not just any chocolate, but Toblerone bars specifically. Its really weird because I dont normally have a sweet tooth, I prefer salty snacks. Or, for the last few months, no snacks at all. I've gone through almost an entire package of Chips Ahoy! cookies by myself over the course of the last week. Somebody make it stop!

And moving on to the whiney part. As much as Im trying to let it not happen, the stress is starting to get to me. I mean, I shouldnt be stressing, my shopping is done (and wrapped!) and the decorating is almost finished. Part of the problem is probably that I go from work to home to bed, and that's about it. But I know Im having a hard time because at home, Im the one expected to keep the house spotless while everyone else goes about their business. My brother is hardly ever home. My mother gets home from work and sits in her chair and complains how tired she is (cuz, you know, I dont get tired). My father? Well...

When my father isnt at work or asleep, he is sitting in front of his computer. He does nothing around the house. He does no housework except the odd time he might vacuum (around the mess!) or wash the dishes and leave them there for me to dry and put away. He cant even be bothered to pick up after himself. He walks in the house and doesnt bother to take his shoes off at the door, he taks them off at his computer and leaves them there in the room. If he cooks, or makes food, he leaves the mess in the kitchen behind him for someone else to clean up. Oh, and any dishes he uses, I get to take back into the kitchen to put in the sink. I am constantly going and cleaning the counters after him. Ask him to do something, and if he bothers to do it, its only half-arsed. He expects supper to be made for him when he gets up to get ready for work (backshift). Obviously Im bitter about the whole thing, and refuse to get up and spend the afternoon cleaning around him. He is a grown man afterall. If Im not at work, I busy myself in my room until he's gone to bed and then I get up and get done what I need to get done.

That's just in the house. He thinks that he has full access to my car when Im not at work. He doesnt lock the doors, after I've repetedly told him that I want the car doors locked always. He continues to park it close to the house even though I've stressed that the dog has already scratched the paint, and to park it on the other side. He doesent care, its not his problem. And there's not even any point in saying anything to him because he'll just get sooky and whiney. Im not exaggerating when I say that I really have no use for this man.

I think I feel better now that I've gotten that out.

Its a quarter past eight on a Saturday evening and where am I? If you guessed in my bed on my computer you'd be 100% correct.

But I did get the house mostly decorated.

Shopping equals finished. This is good.
Paycheque equals gone. This is ehh not so good.
And the best part is that I spent all that money and hardly any of it was on me.

I admit it. Im addicted. It used to be that I could skip a day and be fine. Now I feel all squicky if I dont shower twice a day! I dont even think its so much the clean factor, as that my favorite part of an average day is showering. Its relaxing. Im completely by myself so I can think without any distractions. Also, I cant hear anything going on outside of the bathroom. Its like my own little world. That makes me sound crazy. Today I was trying not to get a second shower, being as how I cannot shower in less than twenty minutes, but I needed it. Well, no, I knew that I wouldnt have time to shave my legs in the morning. Not that my legs needed to be shaved, but it would give me a week for enough hair to shave again next week. My leg hair grows slowly. Anyway, I had bought new shave gel and razors, and with me its like getting a new toy, I couldnt wait to use them. And then I could get out of the shower and put on the new deodorant that I bought today also. And because my legs get dry in the winter, I sat and moisturized my legs. They now smell all berryish. Im so girly sometimes. I must point out that I have never before moisturized my legs, its nice though.

Im tired now. My second favorite part of an average day is always going to bed.

Im seven kinds of wonderful today. I finished my shopping (except for my brother) and now I have everything wrapped except for what I got for Alex. I have absoutely no idea what to get Paul. At work, Robyn suggested getting a gift certificate for Maritime cuz its somewhere that he'd use it, but I honestly dont know if they even offer those since they're basically a wholesaler. I asked Mom when she got home and she just glared at me, my brother is really hard to shop for.

Remind me never again to buy dollar store paintbrushes. They're horrible to use. At least the ones at Wal*Mart didnt lose bristles or anything. Grr. And on top of it, I think my varnish is lost. Double grr.

I stood up for myself at work today. Judy came to me with the paper to sign to put me on a final written attendance warning for missing the day I put the car off the road. I told her that I couldnt, in good faith, sign it. She assured me that it was just a formality, that she'd already been assured by HR that if it came down to a termination that they'd just remove the occurance. I stated that I'd still have a final written on my record, and I havent had a final written at any point since I've been employed there. I wouldnt sign the paper, so she said she'd go and try and fight with HR about it again. Once I started crying she didnt really fight me. I hate that I always cry when I try and fight with someone. I cant fight with people because I only end up a mess. I get so frusterated with myself sometimes.

Oh, its amusing that Molly is asleep on my bed, and Im sitting on her bed on the floor.

So I took an extended lunch today and got my shopping just about finished. The only person that I have left to shop for is my brother and I have no idea what to get him (ideas are appreciated!). My intention is to decorate tonight if all of the decorations are brought upstairs like I asked. I will also have all day tomorrow to get everything decorated and then wrap my gifts. I might see what Mum suggests to get Paul and perhaps run in and get that tomorrow. After that I'll be completely finished. This rocks. Last year I was still shopping on December 23rd. And Im not out of money yet!

Im thinking that I might put off the decorating until tomorrow. If I attempt it tonight with the mother at home it will only end up in a fight. She's working tomorrow and wont be around to supervise help. Much less stressful. Maybe I'll buy a tree tomorrow. Hrm..

So this lady (that works with my Mom) calls earlier looking for my mother, who was gone for groceries. When I tell the lady that my mother is not at home, she proceeds to scold me for not having the house decorated so that my mother doesnt have to do it. It took all of the politeness that I could possibly muster not to say "Listen lady, its me who does the cleaning, and its me who does the decorating, and unless you want to send someone up here to haul the boxes upstairs for me than take your decorating and shove it". I thought it incredibly rude for this woman, who has never met me to actually scold me about not having the house decorated (when there's only two houses on our block that actually are). Ignorant friggin people. Ohmigosh it got me riled up.

Shhh... Im cleaning. Mom's car is home. The axel wasnt fucked, but the bolts on one side were sheared off. Im sure that means something to somebody. I think I also fucked the rim, maybe? I dont quite remember what was told to me. Either way, the car is home and apparently in working order. It now needs better tires on the rear end because its too light and has more of a chance to lose control. I cant wait to get studs on my car, I miss driving my car.

Paul is upstairs giving Molly a bath. He's braver than I.

I cant believe its the middle of December. Its actually the middle of December and Christmas is in ten days. This is weird.

I woke up at 7am only because I needed to pee. I looked at the clock, because I was checking to see how far away from the alarm going off I was. The clock was flashing 2:30am. The power had gone out overnight. So I booted my computer to check the time. My shift starts at 7am. Ahh, fuck it, Im late already, no point in rushing. I went upstairs and put the dog out and woke Mum up because she had work at 9am. Then I called work to tell them that I'd be there when I got there. I was in no hurry at that point, like I said, I was already late. So Mum got in the shower and I went downstairs and checked email/blogs/comics while I waited. Then I showered and got ready for work. I took my time, if I start rushing, then Im going to want to rush on the way there and I knew the roads were bad. I decided to take the brother's car (red 91 two door Chevrolet Cavalier) because it had better tires on it than I have on my own car. The driving is crap. Utter crap. My speed didnt go above 50km/h the entire way. Im at work now, I missed three hours, but Im not worried about that. In the three years that I've worked here I might have been late once. The calls are slow though, so no worries. Here's to hoping that the driving clears up by 6pm.

Im tired of winter, and we've only had two days of snow.

The house is not decorated yet, but its at least clean enough to decorate. Paul and I frigged off into Sydney to visit the hairstuffs wholesalers and wound up spending a total of $200 on, you know, stuff. I bought two different kinds of nail decals, one for Christmas, and one for New Year's (since Im all excited about New Year's now), but I think I'll have to get nails put on to wear the New Year's ones. I might paint my nails whore red and put some Christmas ones on tonight. Also, I bought Redken Guts to give my hair some lift at the roots, AND I bought Joico Ice Whip mousse to try and give it curl. We shall see how that goes. Im actually kind of getting into the Christmas spirit this year and it feels weird.

I went to Curves this morning with Janice and we were talking about New Year's and throwing ideas around for planning something. Janice's house has been the starting point for a few years now, and she's offered it again. It makes sense, being as how she's the only one who doesnt currently live with her parents. Anyway, she might have to work until nine, but I could easily go up before Jason leaves for work, or get her key or something and have people there for when she got home. Janice has no problem getting ready with people there :) Anyway, we were going to go with what we've been doing the past couple of years, where everybody brings a dish (a hors d'oeuvre or a dessert or whatever). We always have more than enough food when we do that. And Janice came up with a great idea, rather than everyone bringing their own coolers or whatever to drink, for everyone to buy a mix, like daquiri or pina colada, or a punch and then share them around with everybody. I thought it was a kickass idea. If there's any more ideas, lemme know and we'll see what works.

So, Kim had suggested downloading It Came Upon A Midnight Clear by Sixpence None The Richer. I did, and its good. Anyway, I remembered that I like Destiny's Child's Christmas music, so I was downloading a bunch of that stuff. Dont make fun of me. Then I was looking for Oh Holy Night because I love that song, and I downloaded a bunch of different versions: Manheim Steamroller, Christina Aguilera, Josh Grobin, and Kelly Clarkson. I was scrolling through the list and saw a version there by Avril Lavigne. I giggled because I hate Avril Lavigne, but decided to download it anyway, you know, because I like to torture myself. Well, I was right, it was an assault on my ears, I can probably sing better than she can (and that, believe me, is saying a lot). I dont advise listening to Avril Lavigne sing Christmas music, you may feel the urge to slit your wrists. That is all.

I think that Im very unphotogenic. I see photos of me and I cringe and think "Is THAT how other people see me?". Im uncomfortable getting my photo taken. I avoid it like the plague. Well, most times. I can take my own pictures using the desktop's webcam, and I might like a handful of the snapshots out of the dozens that I take. Im probably coming off like I think that Im ugly. I dont think that Im ugly. I've always thought of myself as fat, but never ugly. I dont like to look at myself in photographs, but I like to look at myself in the mirror. I cant pass a mirror without looking at myself. If I can, I'll stop and fix my hair, or adjust my clothes, or turn around and check out my ass. I look at myself in the mirror and think I look great. I can make myself look absolutely beautiful in my own eyes. Or, at least, convince myself that I am. The weird thing though, is lately I look in the mirror and actually like what I see below my neck. I doubt I've been working out long enough for it to have really made a difference, but in my head I see one. I see a flatter tummy that looks better in clothes. I think my ass looks even better in the pants that I own. It doesnt bother me that I have large thighs. Or small breasts. Or that Im short. I've got more confidence now to wear things that I wouldnt have worn before. And I have this confidence without a having a guy sweet talking me. I like this. I really like this. I might still be overweight, but I dont feel insufficient anymore. The best part about this is that I dont need to be with someone to feel like this. And I love the fact that I know I dont need to be with someone to have confidence in myself. I love who I am right now. I love the people in my life right now. Im single and Im happier with myself than I ever have been. I cant believe this turned into a gush-fest. If Im coming off as being vain, that's alright, Im selfish too.

I win! We went to Wal*Mart to look at plastic trees and they were ugly. Not ugly because they were plastic, but they were just ugly, cheap looking trees. The nice* one (the one with lights already on it) was like $150. Needless to say we're getting a real tree this year. This makes Jenna a happy girl :)

*Nice compared to the other ones, not that it was even near half-decent looking. Plastic trees are ugly.

Regardless of the fact that I dont have a penis, Im going to give a little advice to any guys who may be reading. Really guys, homophobia is not attractive. Being overly homophobic makes you look like you're way insecure about yourself, or waaaay in the closet. Either, or both! I dont know any girl who finds this in any way attractive, because honestly, there's nothing sexier than self confidence. Trust me on this, self confidence is not having to stress constantly that you're not a fag, self confidence is being too cool to care what other people think. When you're constantly trying to assure people that you're not gay, they're actually wondering when you're going to come out of the closet, because obviously you're trying to compensate for something. (Obviously Im ignoring the homophobes who are just plain ignorant and bullheaded.)

I should probably explain why this is coming rather out of the blue. Yesterday, when I was at work, my brother came upstairs on his break to visit me and after he left I was hearing comments from up the aisle. The guy was obviously trying to make himself look good or something for a girl who was there (who I know has gay friends) and obviously I was bothered by what he was saying. If you're going to bash someone, make sure their sister isnt in ear-shot before you make an ass of yourself. If I had have been sitting just a seat or two closer I would have said something, but we were at polar opposite ends of the aisle, so I was more eavesdropping than anything.

I waited until today to post anything because I wanted to sleep on it. Yesterday I was really bothered by the whole thing. Maybe its just me, but I dont see Paul as gay, I just see him as my brother. My only sibling. Im proud of him and I wouldnt change who he is at all. I admire a lot of people, but I probably look up to him the most. He's not afraid to be the person that he is, regardless of what other people think. That takes balls. I suppose, as an older sister, I still feel like I have to protect him and that's probably part of the reason that I get so pissed off if I hear people saying things. In all honesty though, I get offended whenever people make general homophobic comments.

I'd like to thank Corrine for totally making my weekend. Im not going to explain it here (you never know what prying eyes are checking up on me), but I'd gladly fill anyone in through messenger or email.

I am not pleased to announce that this year my mother has decided to buy a plastic tree for Christmas. She ran the idea by me the other night. My exact reaction was "How dare you blaspheme in this house". She laughed and brushed me aside. I was not kidding, I absolutely despise plastic trees. I think they're ugly and fake looking and will never ever hold a candle to having a real tree in the house. I dont mind vacuuming up needles, or crawling underneath the tree to make sure it has water. I love the scent of evergreen in the house, and gosh darnit, they just look better. I hope that she realizes Im not decorating a plastic tree, it goes against my morals. Actually, I think she decorated the tree last year because my back was too sore from doing all of the rest of the decorating. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, decorating at my house is a one person job. That one person is me. Its not just because nobody else will do it, but because I know where everything goes and they wont do it right. Hello OCD! Im going to have to decorate this week even though I really have no desire to. It just means more things that I have to clean around.

I cant sleep right now, I slept all afternoon and ruined it. I had no other way to deal with being depressed today other than to sleep. Is it weird that my favorite song to listen to when Im sad or depressed is I'll Be by Edwin McCain? What about Your Body Is A Wonderland by John Mayer? Also, anything by The Perishers or Iron & Wine give me that snuggly feeling that I need when I feel lonely and misplaced. Some more examples are, Hey Jealousy by Gin Blossoms, Breathe (2am) by Anna Nalick, Fade Into You by Mazzy Star (covered beautifully by Pedro the Lion), and Sparkle Me by The Buffseeds. Am I strange that when I get sad I need to listen to a fair amount of (non-traditional) love songs?

Im glad this week is over because I cant take anymore of this.

My employer doesnt have snow days, they dont care if your road isnt ploughed, you have to make it to work anyway. There was a blizzard outside when I got up for work this morning, but that doesnt matter because I was scheduled to work. The plan was for me to take my parent's car because my car doesnt have snow tires on it yet. Yeah, anyway, I was driving along (not doing more than 35km/h the whole way) and the roads were shit. I debated turning around and going home, but I figured that the roads might get better the further from home I got. They usually do. So Im coasting down Carpenter's Hill, doing about 30km/h when this truck passes me. Friggin passes me! In a blizzard! Two minutes after that my car started fishtailing. I know from experience its just easier to let it try and correct itself, than to chance overcorrecting it and causing it to spin faster, so I loosened my grip on the wheel and took my foot off of the brake. That didnt help me and the car spun me into a bank on the opposite side of the road.

Im not ashamed to admit that at this point I was shaking and crying. A nice man pulled over and let me use his cell phone to call CAA. They told me that it would be four hours before they could get a towtruck out to me. I tried calling home, but there was no answer. The man left, he was on his way to work or something. I wasnt worried, I knew that I was safe at least. A few minutes later a van got stuck at the intersection that was maybe ten feet from where I was stuck and the woman driving it had her son get out with a shovel and unstuck her. Then she sent him over to me to try and shovel my car out, which I was sooo grateful for. Anyway he got me unstuck and I attempted to drive up the hill and go home, there was no way I was going to work at this point. The car was still pulling the whole way up the hill, so I let it bank itself across from the graveyard and figured I'd walk to Needs (about a five or seven minute walk) and call home or a cab or something. I get to needs and at this point Im already wet and cold, and naturally their phone didnt work. He tried a couple of times but just got static. This left me with one way home. I had to walk.

If you're not familiar with where I live, the convenience store that I was at is basically a good half an hour walk from home. This is on a good day, which today was not. It took me about forty-five minutes to walk home in the freezing rain. There still had not been a plough come through town, so I was walking in tire tracks on the road, and it was kind of slippery even to walk. The walk itself didnt bother me, it wasnt cold out (and I was wearing two sweaters), just wet. I got home and I was soaked through to my skin. Obviously my mother was a little distraught when she saw me walking home in the weather, but calmed down once she realized that I was alright, and she let me tell her the story. She called CAA to tell them that I had moved the car a bit while I went downstairs and took my soaking wet clothes off and changed into my pajamas.

I called work to tell them that obviously I was not going to make it in today, and then I put a load of clothes in the washer and got in the shower. Im still a little cold, but Im back in my pajamas and plan to stay like this for the rest of the day. Im kind of shaky, and hungry, and I really want a Tim Horton's hot chocolate, but there's no way Im driving anywhere today. I just want to curl up and hide somewhere, especially since hearing that they went up to tow the car, but had to get the flatbed for it because the axle is fucked. Great. I should come with a warning sticker: DONT GET INVOLVED WITH ME I WILL ACCIDENTALLY BREAK YOUR LIFE.

Do not make any judgements. The one you initially thought was ugly might be great at oral. This is a valuable life lesson. [www.popjustice.com]

I think I have a great ass. In fact, I feel like its probably my best physical feature below my neck. Im pleased to say that today it looks fantastic! Also today my cleavage is spectacular. I am very chesty today and loving every minute of it. My eyes, which I think are the best feature on my face, are bright and blue today. When I stand upright my belly looks flatter than usual! This could very well mean that all that working out I've been doing is actually working. I am looking forward to my next weigh-in to see if there is a change.

There, I didnt once complain about how bad my skin looks, or how ratty my hair looks, or even how much I hate my teeth. :D

I made it through the day yesterday, I even worked a full ten hour shift. Actually, no, I got to spend two hours walking around the building selling tickets for charity. That was fun, except that all the other floors in the building have their heat set to cremate and I didnt think to leave my sweater at my desk. After work I went to Curves for the *gasp* fourth time this week and had a really good workout. I was the only one there (except for Rita at the desk) for my entire workout and I kind of liked that. I didnt have to try and make small talk with people that I dont know. I didnt have to avoid eye contact with said people I dont know. I probably wont make it there tonight or tomorrow unless I get out of work early. Here's to hoping.

Also, I have been looking forward to seeing Brokeback Mountain since I first heard about it (sometime last spring, maybe?). I really cant wait to see it. I wont be able to afford to see it until January at the earliest though. Damn.

I still feel really shitty. I plan on getting home and taking a shower and sitting in for the night. I dont want human interaction ...but I want a hug.

Due to my own stupidity, I slept in this morning and didnt have time to shower. Im having an I Hate Everything day. I dont care, Im leaving early if they let me, I need to get home and back in bed. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

I have a secret. Im going to share my secret. Please dont hit me. ... Im not a Christmas person. Im not at all a Christmas person. It's not because Im all Agnostic and whatnot, I dont look forward to the Christmas season. There's the housecleaning and the decorating (the goddamned decorating) and the family fights. The "helping" Mum with the baking and cooking, and trying to come up with enough cash to allow me to give at least half decent gifts to the people in my life. The whole month of December is stressful. I dont like having Christmas music constantly pumped at me. I will have four major family gatherings to attend in the period from December 24th until January 1st. This would be stressful for families other than mine. This paragraph is starting to make no sense so we'll move along.

I dont feel anymore Christmassy this year than I normally do, but I do feel less stressed. The only person that I have no idea what to get for is my brother (suggestions welcome), parents are basically done, but not technically done, and friends are done, pretty much. I dont have a boyfriend so that stress is gone. Im not going overboard with gifts this year. Dont confuse that with doing things half-arsed either. Im putting effort into it, just not to the point where I stress myself out (or go broke) over it.

See, even though Im not a Christmas person, I dont go all Bah Humbug either. I was talking yesterday with my brother and mentioned that Im not Christmassy and he was all like "Since when?". Even though I dont particularly enjoy the season as a whole, I dont like to bring other people down about it. That said, I really cant wait to get all the new clothes that were purchased yesterday. I'll totally forgive her if she doesnt get me a camera.

To make up for not being a Christmas person, I love birthdays! My birthday, your birthday, it doesnt matter. I dont expect (or look for) anything big on my birthday. I like to be acknowledged. I like having people wish me a happy birthday. I dont need gifts, or cards, or anything like that. Well I need cake, but, well, you know. I like to go out for my birthday and get completely shitfaced if I can. (Im planning my next one in my head as we speak, and its six months and nineteen days away). I like going out, or getting together for other people's birthdays. I like buying people gifts for their birthdays, as well. Giving gifts for birthdays is a lot less stressful than giving gifts at Christmas. You only have to worry about one person at a time, and not about forgetting anybody (or worrying about who is giving who gifts like Janice is worrying about this year).

The only day that comes close to birthdays is Hallowe'en. Hallowe'en is sexy. Well, my kind of sexy anyway.

I dont want to come off as whining about giving gifts for Christmas, its not anything to do with that. I enjoy giving gifts. Its just that this time of year puts a lot of pressure on people and I no longer actively look forward to it and havent for a couple of years. The magic just isnt there.

I am tired. I earned it though. I went to school with Paul today, and was there all day. Then I came home and went right to Curves for my workout. I came home and chilled for maybe an hour before I showered and got ready to go shopping with Mum and Paul. We shopped for a good three and a half hours, which was a lot for us. Im not complaining though, Christmas will bring a good haul this year. Tonight she probably spent $300 on clothes for me, let alone what she spent on my brother. She didnt even complain all that much, usually shopping with Mum is like shopping with a cranky child.

There's a cat outside the back door yelling to be let in the house. I have no idea why this cat is doing this. I can hear it from here on my bed. We're not cat people. My parents had a cat when they first got married, but that was 30 years ago, and it wasnt around by the time they had me. I was getting stuff out of the trunk and it kept coming near me. I feel sorry for it if its hungry, but it didnt look like a stray. If it had have been around when Janice was here I would have told her to take it home, it seems personable. But personable or not, I'd rather it not sit outside my bedroom window and yell.

I only have a minute, but today marks the 88th anniversary of the Halifax Explosion.

Holy Mother! Kay, so last Monday I burned through episodes one through five of the second season of Veronica Mars. Today I burned through episodes six through nine and oh my goodness gracious holy mackerel!. Preganant? Duncan? Eeek!!

Other than that, I feel very accomplished today. I got up early and actually did my hair, Susan said that it looked nice. Then I worked a whole shift (yes, only five hours, but shut up). After work I came home and went right to Curves for my workout. Yes, then I napped, but I've got my nails done AND I watched four episodes of Veronica Mars. I had a productive day. Im wonderful :)

It seems that Australian researchers have proven that stress causes physical ailments. Article.

I went to bed yesterday a little after 9am, because I wasnt feeling well and I was tired, and woke up a little before 3pm. I wasnt feeling all that much better, but I went upstairs because I was starving from not having eaten much the last two days. I was talking to my mother about Molson and she said that he was around the night before and she had fed him. I remember Paul answering his phone at Kim's and saying something about having to go to Sobey's and get dog food. At the time I had assumed it was for our own dogs, but it turned out to be more for Molson (our dogs would have eaten earlier in the day) and he ate quite a bit apparently. Neither her or I could actually imagine the people who own him not feeding him, but you really cant tell with people. I know that if we didnt have Emma, Mum would adopt that dog in a second, and so would I. He lived with us for months while his owners split up and the man moved in with a woman down the road. Now, everytime he gets loose (they keep him chained in the yard) he comes straight to our house because we'll feed him and take him inside in thunderstorms, and give the poor thing some affection. I hate when people have animals and dont take care of them.

Also, I was surprised that Mum didnt rag on me for missing a whole work day. She told me to make an appointment to see my doctor so that he can give me an inhaler since I've gone and had the breathing test done. I told her that he's going to say the tests show that there's nothing wrong, and he's only going to brush me off. So she told me to ask to be referred to a specialist if he does that. I have to now, make an appointment to see him, and I probably wont get one until after the holidays at this rate. Grr on him. Oh, and I did start feeling better around suppertime. Not great, mind you, but better than I was feeling all day.

Pressing right now: I cant breathe. When I went to bed last night I was all huffy and wheezy but I figured that would go away once I slept. No, it did not. My lungs feel tight, and Im not getting enough air when I breathe normally, I have to take deep breaths to feel like Im getting enough air. I got up and went to work figuring that at least the cold air my make it easier to breathe. Again I was wrong. I did not stay at work because the gulping air does not make it easy to talk on the phone all day. Janice is coming over tonight to get her hair done, so I wont be going to the ER today.

Also: Molson, the former neighbour dog (now the dog down the road) that lived with us at one time, has been hanging around the house last night and today. He's looking to be let in and most likely fed. Last night when I got home it was dark and I petted him and fought to get in with him trying to get in with me and my own dogs trying to get out at him. Fun times. Today when I got back home from work he was hanging around again, but in the light I could tell that his ribs are showing. It broke my heart. This is the nicest, sweetest, dog you could ever come across, much nicer than my own dogs, and his ribs are showing. I can guarantee you we'd adopt him in a heartbeat if we didnt have Emma. Molly and Molson always got along fine, wheras Emma is more territorial. I am sad.

Keeping me happy: Last night Kim had a get-together for her birthday (which is today, Happy Birthday Kim!) which did not involve alcohol, yet was the best time out I've had in a while! It involved myself and Kim (obviously), Michael (Kim's brother) for a while, Angela, Ryan, Jamie, my brother (who didnt stay all night because he was going to the gay dance), and Chris (Kim's boyfriend) came after work. We laughed until I couldnt breathe. Kim installed WoW on her father's laptop because she wanted to show me the game in action and Ryan and I are most likely hooked. I didnt think it would be a game that I could get into, but now actually seeing it played, rather than just screenshots, I can see how it can be addicting.

Michael had Paul and Jamie convinced that his PSP accepted voice commands, so the two of them were sitting there for like ten minutes shouting at it to play the movie.

Before I left I had my cleavage complimented, and I have to admit, I was rather chesty last night. Also, I learned that my booty is more ghetto than Jamie's. Chris was trying to pimp me out to his friend Adam, but I had to leave due to having work at 7am this morning. There most likely will be a next time.

I wanted to post highlights last night when I got home, but I knew that if I didnt go to bed then I'd be up until one or two and that would not have worked at all.

Yesterday, Kim's father had what turned out to be a heartattack. He will be fine, which is a very awesome thing, but will need some time to fully recover. He's only been home from Mongolia for about a week, and its a good thing that it happened here rather than there, if it had to happen at all. I dont pray, but obviously Im keeping Kim's family in my thoughts at this time.

Tuesday is my brother's mock-provincial exam and we both have to be dressed up for it. He has to wear black and white, I can wear what I want, just dressy. The problem here is that lately my "dressy" has included jeans or cords. Not that I dont have dress pants, I do, I just that my really dressy tops are kind of skanky and more along the lines of bar shirts. This meant that I had to go to the mall after work today. I spent way more than I had budgeted myself for, but I still have like $35 left after filling my gas tank and buying food. This will have to do for the next two weeks.

Moving on, because all of my dress pants are black, I was looking for something to go with the spaghetti-strap brown top that I have. So I find a little chocolate brown sweater that's the cutest so I bought it. Now to find dress pants. Yeah, right. If I wasnt looking for brown dress pants I can guarantee you that's all I would have found. Not a store with the right color, and even the clors that came close I couldnt get something that looked good on me. Shopping is so frusterating. I decided, fuck it, I'll buy a nice top to go with a pair of black dress pants that I already have. I bought a little black sweater, and a really nice black tank top. Cost more than I had planned, but I need new dressy clothes with the upcoming holiday season. Oh, and I bought a new necklace and two pair of large hoop earrings.

Im tired now. I may nap after I do laundry.

[EDIT] Oh! In his last news post, Chris Daily asked for readers to tell one person about Striptease. I figure I'll tell a few dozen.

OMG Mary's popular today. I've been home just about an hour and already I've answered three calls for her. And these people try and fake me out!

man: Is Mary there?
me: No, sorry sir, you have the wrong number.
man: Are you sure?
me: Yes, sir, Im quite sure.

Grr! There was also an old lady that called and talked to me for five minutes about I dont know what. I really wish I knew Mary's number so that I could refer them there. Its quite frusterating!

On another note, I mentioned already that I did my hair today. Apparently it looks awesome from the back, which obviously is my good side. I got many compliments on it, and it didnt even turn out the way I wanted it to.

Also! My request for wrist support at work has already been through my supervisor and HR and is sitting at Facilities now. My supervisor was hoping that they'd have them today so that I'd get them today, but obviously they had to go and get some. Here's hoping I get something by Monday.

I got up fifteen minutes earlier than normal today so that I can diffuse my hair. It didnt get so much curly as it got large. I still had to pin the sides back because they just looked stringy. Maybe I didnt do it right. Maybe I need product other than Bouncy Cream. I need to look into that.

I got paid today and officially Im "broke" already. Technically, no, but I need to go shopping and get dressy something to wear to school with Paul on Tuesday (its his mock provincial exam). I know I can make it work with the money I have, but its just a pain in the ass knowing that I dont get paid again for another two weeks and have no extra money whatsoever. I really have to call my lawyer on Monday. I need someone to brush me off!

My supervisor is putting in a request to get me an ergonomic assessment so they can do up my workstation as to avoid causing me pain. This is a good thing. I gave her the note that my doctor scribbled about getting me gel support for both mouse and keyboard. We'll see how long that'll take them to do. I should get a proper chair too, but I dont mind hauling my ObusForme in with me when I have to.

At the time I went to break there were no calls waiting, and there was time between calls. Now there's four calls waiting. I hold this place together.

I LOVE Bunny!


Please dont yell at me if you're offended.

I want to blog. I have ideas floating around in my head about topics that I want to discuss just to get them out of my head. But my hand hurts. My hand really hurts, so maybe later. I dont quite know how to handle this chronic pain, Tylenol just doesnt cut it anymore.

Computers are destroying my right hand. I've mentioned the issues with my wrist before. I've mentioned that I get pain all the way down into my ring and pinky fingers. What's started happening lately though is when I use my laptop for any length of time the tips of my fingers on my right hand get sore. It hurts when I type and use the touchpad. This is a recent development, and Im not pleased with it at all. Its just little pain, but its annoying, and I know its not going to get any better. This is why I havent been at my home computer as often as I used to. I tend to check email/blogs/comics in one chunk and then go off and do something else. There's no point in telling my doctor, he'll just blow me off.

I havent mentioned anything about the upcoming federal election because Im not pleased that we're having one. Im angry and Im afraid. Im afraid that the Conservitives will win and Stephen Harper will be the new PM. I am staunchly opposed to a Conservitive government, and have swore for years that if they ever become the leading party of Canada I will move overseas. I stand by that.

I just had a woman call and complain about the Katrina refugees (emphasis hers) staying at the hotel she was at, and how they were dirty and she felt like people were going to steal things from her. I was offended! These people have no homes and she's talking like she's better than they are. If I didnt need my job I probably would have called her an ignorant bitch and hung up. I hate ignorant people.

Oh, and this article made me happy