Dont pick on me today because I started my period and OMG PAIN. Actually, its not that bad, just a dull constant ache in my abdominal region. Constant. Yeah, leave me alone. On top of that, our microwave is broken and this means that I have to cook with the stove. Here's to hoping I dont starve.

On the plus side, I did manage to get to the gym, and Im still drinking water like its going out of style.

Then there's your girlfriend
She opens her legs and
Gives your life meaning
Is that what you love her for?

Criticism as Inspiration by Pedro the Lion

I've really been making the effort lately to drink more water. The past couple of days its all I've been drinking when I've been home. What I am hoping is that my skin will get better and not be so oily and whatnot. I even went so far as to go to Sobeys today and fill the big jug for the water cooler. Yeah, that's currently out in the car because I cannot lift and carry it into the house.

Also at Sobeys, some woman pointed out to me that Crispy Mini's (mini flavored rice cakes) were on for 99¢/bag and I was all like "Ooooh cheap!" and bought four (100g) bags. And, to save myself a trip up later in the week, I bought a bottle of Piña Colada mix to have on Saturday. I was certainly on a roll, so I stopped by the NSLC and picked up a pint of vodka, Iceberg being my preferred vodka. I know that Piña Coladas call for rum too, but Im not a rum drinker, and Janice might have some at the house anyway, so I just bought vodka. I cannot express the sheer glee I feel over getting to drink this weekend. I was heartbroken that I coudnt really do anything but sit and listen to people on New Year's, so this will make up for it.

Naptime!

Songs listened to (but certainly not harmed) during the composition of this entry:
Pearl Jam - Rearview Mirror
Jimmy Eat World - The Middle
The Cure - Lovesong
Death Cab For Cutie - Pictures in an Exhibition
Tommy James & The Shandels - Crimson and Clover

Comments fixed! Many thank yous go out to Ratpouch, who's email I got this morning all full of code. I havent even gotten out of bed yet and Im already elated. Lets hope this lasts all day :D

Dinner is over, the family is gone. I am tired, but it is too early for sleep. I dont feel like watching television even though I know Grey's Anatomy is on. I dont feel like seeing or talking to anybody. Now would be nice to have a boy to snuggle with. To lay down with and lay my head on his chest while he runs his fingers through my hair. Then up and down my spine. Lights low, candles and incense burning, soft music in the background. Le sigh. I can fantasize all I want, Im still sitting on my bed, by myself waiting for the washer to finish.

You know the song I'll Be, by Edwin McCain? Yeah, I want that. I want a boy to feel like that about me.

Random Jenna fact #579: The easiest way to get me out of my panties is to massage me from my neck and shoulders, all the way down my spine to my tattoo. Mmm...

First off, let me say that I am tired and my back hurts. That out of the way, I cannot wait until dinner is over and my family is gone home. No, they are not here now, dinner is at four. Part of me wishes I had have stayed at work, but I usually try and get VTO on days when Mom is hosting dinner. Or, at least, I did the last time.

Last night I picked Janice up from work (early, heh) and came back here for a bit and showed her my bedroom and whatnot before we went out for food. I have some complaints about the food last night. For one, the waitress was hardly around even though the place was not busy. Second, the food was not piping hot and if I was feeling bitchy I would have sent it back. Third, she was not very quick to pick up the dirty dishes when we were finished with them. The highlight of my meal was when dessert came and there was a flower and curly-cues drawn on the plate with chocolate. I was giddy with glee. From now on Im bringing my camera with me, you know, just in case. When the girl was taking the plates when we were finished I told her to give my compliments to the chef for that and she said that they only plate the desserts, the servers finish them. That alone earned her tip. Janice's dessert was good too, but big. Neither one of us finished our desserts, and we only got half servings of pasta. Oh! Janice got one of their drinks, one of the slush ones and ohmigosh was it ever good. The size of it was worth the $5.60 (or whatever) that it cost.

Speaking of alcohol, I cannot wait for drinking at Janice's next weekend. I need to makeup for what I couldnt do on New Year's. I applied today for Sunday off, we were slow today so I hope I'll get it. Actually I might put in a request to have Sundays off permanantly, that way I can do things on Saturday nights. What, me social?

Guh, my nails really need to be filed down, but since Im going to get them filled on Tuesday they can wait until then. I might sneak in a nap...

There is no way this isnt adorable. Rather than sleeping on her bed, she is curled up on the floor next to (not on top of) a pile of my clean clothes. She loves cuddling with people's clothes, I think for the smell.

Since I bought new shave gel today I cannot wait to get a shower to shave my legs. Because its new I need to use it.

Time for napping.

I am in a great mood today. Im almost giddy. I have to spend the afternoon tidying the kitchen in preparation of the family coming for dinner tomorrow, but that's alright. Janice had asked me earlier in the week to go to eat tonight at Boston Pizza, so we're going there when she's off of work. Even if we just go and eat dessert I'll be happy. I can almost taste the calories now.

Actually I just got off the phone with Janice, and next Saturday we're planning on staying in and mixing drinks and getting wrecked. People left liquor at her place on New Year's and she was saying that if anybody else wanted to come over and drink, all are welcome.

I moved all my stuff to my new seat throughout the day today. I really think Im going to like my new seat. I am actually going to have people sitting around me now! Fun people! The only thing is that part of the desk needs to be repaired, but Judy was going to put in a request to facities today, so I should only have to deal with that tomorrow.

There are other reasons why I am going to like my seat, but Im censoring myself. I can be messaged for giddyness. Eee!

"It is the Canadian people we get our mandate from, not the ambassador of the United States."

Stephen Harper said that. (article)

Kay, I've asked this before, and I have to do it again. Can anybody assist me in changing "0 comments" to say "show your love" like it did in the last template? I had Stacey try and use the original code that Squirk wrote, and apply it to this template but it doesnt seem to be working. And, this is all a bit over my head, but I take direction well :)

Also, what is the code to make links open in a new window/tab?

I woke up sometime early this morning by Molly pounding on the door to come in. I looked at the clock and it wasnt on, indicating that the power was out, which was why Molly was coming to curl up in bed with me. Its fun having a dog who's afraid of the dark. Nonetheless, I could hear the wind whistling outside so I crawled back into bed and spend the next unknown amount of hours in that state between asleep and awake, where I could just enjoy the snuggly warmth of my bed. Then my father came downstairs to tell me it was like seven and to call work to say I couldnt be there yet. I got up and called and then crawled back into bed until about half past ten. The dog left me at this point, but the bed was still all snuggly, I had a great morning. The power didnt come back on until shortly after eleven.

I left for work at about noon and spent the entire drive over being terrified because the roads were shit. The drive home wasnt near as harrowing, and I actually had confidence that I'd make it here alive. I get home and my brother is opening up his laptop with a screwdriver with Dell on the phone. Apparently his screen hasnt been turning on lately and they think that the cable might be loose. He's brilliant and stripped the head off of one of the screws trying to open it and now he might have to send the computer in to get fixed. Sucks to be him.

Oh, and there's something wrong with his keyboard and he cant type, so he's using the handwriting function in MSN Messenger 7.5 to talk to me. This is way too funny.

Being po' can be a fun dance. I was all worried about paying bills this week when I get paid, but I did some fancy math with the calendar and realized that my car insurance is due on my next payday. Score! That saves me $133 this week. Also, my gym payment is due on the following payday :D. This means that I could very well go to Boston Pizza with Janice on Saturday and still be able to afford to get my nails filled in next week. Woot.

Oh, and Kim posted in her LJ about boycotting St. Valentine's Day due to it basically being stupid and I think its a great idea. I've always hated that day, even when I was in a relationship. I figure, if two people actually give a damn about each other, you dont need February 14th to roll around to express it. That's what birthdays are for. Nonetheless, if I wasnt working the next day, I'd suggest going out drinking that night, but if anybody wants to go out and eat high-calorie desserts, email or message me.

I've been eating like a friggin pig lately, and I think its out of sheer boredom.

Since when is Michael Jackson wearing a women's veil and robe front page news?

I need to get out more when this stuff actually is starting to piss me off. Seriously.

New shift: 7am-4pm with Monday/Tuesday off. The other dayshifts had 10am start times with Wednesday/Thursday off. I didnt want that because Paul's board exam is on February 6th, which is a Monday. This saves me from having to beg and plead for that day off. Also, Im straight-up eight hour shifts which is awesome, although I'll miss my five hour shifts. I may not be able to go barhopping on the weekends, but if Janice is off on Mondays, and I am off on Mondays we could easily go out Sunday nights. I need to start sleeping around getting out more.

After I left work I went straight to Curves because today was measurement day. I was only down a pound and a half, but I was pleased with that because I've been eating ravenously for the past two weeks. I think my body is making up for when I was sick and couldnt eat. I lost inches on my bust, waist, and abdomen, and all other measurements stayed the same.

Although I do not agree with most censorship*, I feel that Google was right in their decision (article). Now, I personally have a problem with China in the human rights regard, but since the country is an economic superpower, I can see why companies would want to do business there. In order to respectfully do business in another country, a company would need to comply with said country's laws and regulations. Again, in this case, I dont necessarily agree with China's politics**, but if I were to be in China for whatever reason, you would not see me disobeying their laws (when in Rome...). Granted, if it were Canada, Harper would allow us to be walked all over (but he's a boot licker).

[EDIT]: Google is currently being taken to task by a Republican senator about censorship in China (article).

On the other hand, I strongly oppose the idea of Google handing over search information (article) to the US government. I strongly feel that it is the responsibility of parents to keep internet porn away from their children. Then again, this doesnt seem to be the day of personal responsibility anymore.


*I believe in some cases, such as during police investigations, the media should back off. Especially where it could potentially taint a prospective jury pool. Guilty, or innocent, a person deserves a fair trial, devoid of media influence.

**I have serious problems with a country being run as a dictatorship.

I swear, it idiocy is an epidemic. Lawmakers in South Dakota are debating whether or not to make abortion all out illegal. Cuz yeah, that'll stop it. Ugh, it hurts my brain.

[EDIT]: But in Wisconson, they just passed a bill lowering the hunting age to eight. Is it just me? Really, am I the only one who is completely baffled by all of this?

I feel a little better about knowing that Im probably going to have to take a night shift. If nothing else, I'll get a night shift with whatever days off that I want. I think I'd like Friday/Saturday that way Janice and I can go drinking on either of those nights. I need something different. Im bored.

When I got up this morning, I could tell by the layer of snow on the ground that Hell had obviously frozen over. My suspicions were confirmed when I picked up the paper and saw that idiocy is an epidemic in other parts of this country. I awoke to a minority (neo) Conservative government. Pardon while I weep for the loss of my country.

The only silver lining in all of this is that when the Liberals allign themselves with the NDP to form the official opposition (which they damn well should), the Conservatives will get nothing passed. They may not be able to destroy this country.

And although I am currently viewing the people of the west as ignorant rednecks, I am proud to say that the Maritimes voted properly.

So we have a galley style kitchen*, right, which means that the cooking area is essentially a hallway with counters and appliances on either side. I was drying and putting away dishes earlier and I was working around Emma eating flicking kibble about the kitchen whilst trying to get to the can dog food that was underneath. Yeah, funny dog. So she decides that she's finished, leaving virtually all of the kibble on or around the plate. So I stop my dishes and get down on the floor and start rolling kibble down the kitchen at her. She's loving this. What's more fun than playing with your food? I swear I only lost three underneath the stove. She's funny too, pouncing on them as they roll across the floor toward her. I tried throwing a couple at her, but she wouldnt catch them like she does with other things (I assume because they were small). We had to have done that for a good twenty minutes before she decided she was bored and went in the other room. It was probably the highlight of my day.

Cecelia from work called earlier to tell me that they handed out the shift bid papers. My senority is 26, which is still higher than it was the last time. She also said that she only counted 21 shifts on the bid beginning before noon, which means that my chances of getting a dayshift are probably slim to none. This does not please me. The bid will take place Wednesday morning and I am not going back into that building until that time. I dont need the papers before then, I'll only drive myself nuts.

I was looking forward today to watching Dead Like Me at eleven, but I am just too tired to stay up.

When I had last checked the election results on television, the Liberals had taken most of the Maritimes. Lets hope the rest of Canada had brains today.

*Not a picture of my kitchen.

A short while ago:

television: This program may contain violence, sexuality, and coarse language. Viewer discretion is advised.
me (from the kitchen): Isnt it a little early for violence and sexuality?
Mom (watching tv): Its never too early!


And you wonder why Paul and I are the way we are...

I voted. I did not vote Conservative. I did the right thing for my country.

Also, I warned my family that if they voted Conservative I would disown them and move overseas.

Goddammit! Why are all of my archives still showing my old template?

[EDIT] Fixed.

I went to see Brokeback Mountain tonight with Paul and Tammy and Karla. I knew he was as interested in seeing the movie as I was (I've been waiting for this since I knew it was in production, mmm Heath Ledger) and I had emailed him today asking if he was interested in seeing it on Tuesday. He told me that he and Tammy were going tonight so I invited myself to go with them since I had no other plans. I enjoyed the movie. The end, was anti-climatic, but it was a great love story. It made me feel all snuggly inside.

I came home and realized that my popcorn leaked butter all over one of my favorite pairs of jeans. Boy was I annoyed. They're being treated now with the good stuff that takes anything out, so they'll be fine. But I was still miffed about it.

It is late, and I really should be sleeping, but I napped for three hours earlier so Im wired for sound at the moment. I think I'll burn a cd.

I could not have said this better myself (from cunting linguist).

Please, I beg of you if you're a Canadian, vote tomorrow, but do not vote Conservative.

Taa-daa! Whadda ya think?


Many thanks to the wonderful and talented Stacey Leung for my new template!

I discovered a really great blog today. Steff discusses, it seems, all things sexual, but in a mature, matter-of-fact way. Anyway, I was going through some of the archives and discovered a great quote:

Your life is only as good as the freedom with which you live it.

This is kinda cool. Im a number two.

So I took advantage of today to clean off my desk and my dresser and make them look all nice so that I could take "finished" pictures of my room. Those have been uploaded to Flickr!.

I still need to spend a day cleaning off my shelves and reorganizing them, and then another day cleaning out closets. I suppose technically I could do them both in one day, but I normally have other housework to get done on my days off.

So at work they're fucking us over really good this time. We're having a shift bid next week. Rather than simply rank us according to seniority like the always have, they decided to stat rank us. Not all of us though. Here's where it gets unfair, they're taking the ten people with the best stats and putting them at the top of the list, according to their seniority. Then the rest of us are just ranked by seniority. Do you follow? So the person who is now first in the shift bid, would normally be number three, but because he had the best overall stats he gets to pick first. The person who gets to pick second would have been fifth or sixth in the bid. It goes like that. Now, even though there is seven people who have lower senority than I do, now ahead of me, my seniority did not go down. If they had of just ranked us according to seniority, I would have been in the twenty-first spot. Now I am twenty-eigth. I think on the last bid I was twenty-nine, so I cant really complain. Yet. We shall see once the bid actually happens and we see how screwed over I am.

There is one thing that even the supervisors dont agree with though. There is a guy who, because he is tight with the head of the contract, gets to roam around all day and not take calls. He is "tech lead" or something, but he doesnt actually do anything. Sure, he'll take people aside and go over hand-outs and whatnot (things on my contract change daily, you never know if you're coming or going), but for the most part he just walks around thinking he's important. If we get busy, he wont automatically take calls like he's supposed to. If a supervisor tells him to get on the phone, he will saunter around for five more minutes before taking one call and going back into idle. He should not be on our shift bid if he doesnt do our work. But guess what? He's not only on our bid, but he's in the top ten. Because his regular seniority isnt that great, he's only sixth on the list. Like I said, every supervisor that I've spoken to personally, does not agree with this, and that's besides the agents on the floor. The good thing is that I know this guy will take a nightshift because the people on dayshift would tear him apart. People on dayshift are bitter because the attitude from the higher-ups is "Im in charge, so fuck you". I was actually talking with the backshift supervisor when I got to work today about this and she worked dayshift with us when she was on the phone and she knows exactly why dayshift is so bitter. That said, you wont find me going for a night shift.

Also, because I know you all love hearing about my non-sex life, I am unsure how to read the situation. Kay, there's the boy at work that I like right, the one that is always flirting with me. Well, there's been the usual flirting lately, but yesterday he was walking around cuz he was doing training and I was picking on him about walking around trying to look busy. The response that I got was that he was walking past just so that he could check me out, and he added on that he loops my aisle frequently to check me out. The thing is, he does loop my aisle constantly. Like, everytime he's off the phone he's walking down my row. The only person that I sit by is Robyn and I know he's not interested in her. I dont sit in a spot that people have to pass to actually get anywhere. And even though I sit next to my supervisor, she is over the wall and in another row. So I am left wondering that even though he said what he did with a smirk on his face, should I read that much into it? And then today we were talking and he was going on about someone thinking that he and this other girl were together but they're not. It was like he was assuring me that he was single. Im in a weird place. I like this guy, and I'd go out with him, but I dont want to be reading too much into the flirting if that's all it is. Any advice?

I hate working here. I am seriously going to quit. Not right now though. I believe I have a gameplan to get me out of this place (country). More on that later.

Okay, I discovered this amazing comic, Ballad, whilst listening to the latest Digital Strips podcast (Im a winner!). Anyway, the artwork in Ballad is absolutely amazing, but I honestly recommend listening to it with a background of some Acid Bath. Perhaps Venus Blue, or Scream of the Butterfly, even New Death Sensation, to set the mood.

I might be all girly and pink now, but five years ago I was the girl you saw wearing all black with a studded collar. You dont just lose that :)

Yesterday I discovered a delightful comic done in, get this, MS Paint. !!! I have been through the archives and I was pleased.

I got VTO'd from work about forty minutes early and came straight home to get into my jammies. I found a little quivery brown monster hiding on my bed when I came down to my bedroom. Its so nice to feel needed.

I hate today. Seriously, days like today make me contemplate hanging myself.

I got my nails filled today. I also got them airbrushed again. They have butterflies on them! He filed them down to where I can type normally and I am very happy with that. Paul's nails are awesome! I cant describe them, you'd have to see them. Karla also got her nail fixed.

Brokeback Mountain opens in Sydney this weekend! I cannot describe how much I want to see this movie.

I opened my purse earlier and there was a package of Peter Jackson's there and I was confused for a minute and then I remembered that Paul gave them to me to hold onto so that Karla wouldnt steal one. They're nestled in with my condoms and lube.

My room seems smaller now that the walls arent white anymore. Its weird. I have the largest bedroom in the house, but it feels right tiny now. Its darker too. I have fluorescent lights on the ceiling and the lamp by my bed, but the other end of the room (where my mirror and the door is) seems really dark. I might need to purchase a lamp for that end of the room for when Im doing my hair. I dunno.

Molly ran down to my room before we left earlier (about 4pm), and wouldnt come upstairs. That was fine, I left the door open and the laptop playing mp3s. Mom called us when we were on our way home and the dog was still hiding in my bedroom and wouldnt go upstairs even though Mom was calling her. We got home about half an hour later and she was still hiding. She gets like that sometimes, today it was because of the bath/haircut. She was laying there and she'd randomly start quivering. She can be so pathetic sometimes. Even Emma is being all quiet and she has a confused look in her eyes. Emma tends to get confused like that when Molly gets all afeared.

I did not go to the gym today. I have been eating like a pig lately. I feel all fat and bloated. I was trying to take a picture earlier of my curly hair, but I looked so unattractive that I deleted them all. But my nails look nice.

There's the baby all clean and clipped. Much prettier like this with all the matted fur gone. There once was a day when she'd let me cut the matted fur off of her, but she's given that up in her old age.

The room is technically put back together, but no pictures yet. Once I get the desk and dresser cleaned off and laundry put away I will take pictures of the room. Plus, Im waiting to see how long it will take to get the new blanket that Janice ordered for me. Although I do have a blanket that has pink in it that I could put on for now. The one that Im currently using wont be used again, its too old and faded.

Today is a big day at my house. The groomer is coming to give Molly a bath and a haircut. Molly, is absolutely terrified, so I have been tormenting her all day with "Yer getting a bath!". In response she's been giving me the wide-eyed intense look of sheer terror, indicating that she knows exactly what Im talking about. The poor dog has, in the past, peed on me when I picked her up to hand her to the groomer, and she is not a dog who pees when there's something going on.

After that, Paul and I are going to get our nails filled in. Karla is coming with us because one of hers fell off, and I think Jenelle might be coming as well.

Then I will officially be broke.

I should call my lawyer tomorrow.

Im finished! I just finished putting the last coat on the last wall. Now all I have left is putting the room back together and taking off all of the tape. The tape will probably come off tonight but the room will be put back together tomorrow. More photos tomorrow.

Oh, and when I moved the dresser I discovered a working electrical outlet that I did not know I had in my room! It was very exciting.

Since Im taking a short break, I thought I'd update Flickr with some progress shots. I'll most likely update Flickr throughout my painting.

Some days I seriously hate how my brain operates. I have been excited about painting my bedroom for how long? At least a week now. I've purchased all of my paint and painting accessories. I have even gone out today and spent way too much money on matching throw pillows for my bed to replace the Winnie The Pooh ones because, hey, I am going to be 25! I even went so far as to take all of the movable furniture out of my room and get about 87% of it taped off for the painting. I came downstairs after watching Dead Like Me to tidy up some stuff before I came to bed and a wave of dread came over me as I walked into the bedroom. "What am I doing? What if I dont really want this? Am I ready? Is it too soon? OMG CHANGE!" all went through my head. I wanted to smack myself. Seriously, I just wanted to look myself in the face and yell "JENNA GET A GODDAMN GRIP YOU'RE ONLY PAINTING YOUR ROOM!" only I couldnt do that because my mirror has been temporarily moved to the bathroom. I get to watch myself pee! But really though. Am I seriously crazy? Should I be this afraid of change that I question whether or not to repaint my bedroom? If I can have second thoughts about something like this, how the hell am I ever going to get anywhere in life?

There are some things that I have come to accept about myself. I am okay with routine. Routine is good. I am comfortable being an OCD eater even when I am out in public. I can tell people "No, I have to do it this way" and laugh when they roll their eyes at me because they just dont understand. I have learned to accept the things that I cannot do. I cannot touch certain things. I cannot reach out to people, no matter how much I want to. Scratch that last one, I hate that about myself. I hate having to wrestle with myself about even asking people, friends even, out for coffee. I have to muster up courage to do things like that. Obviously if I cant ask friends to do things, I'll never be able to ask a boy out, that is putting too much on the line. I was out of that place for a while, but I seem to be creeping back there again and I hate it.

Maybe I need counselling.

Oh, who am I kidding, I would never be able to verbalize any of this shit. My coping mechanisms include taking (emotional) things and putting them away inside my head. I internalize everything even though I know that is not good. There was a time where I would take things out on myself physically, but we wont talk about that. Its like, the more I need people around me, the more I withdraw into myself. I dont like to burden people wiht my issues. Especially when I know other people have issues that are worse than mine are. But, when Im home, alone in my room I have nothing else to do than to dwell and make everything into a bigger deal than it already is, in turn pushing myself further and further inside. Its a vicious circle. I have periods where I get really social and go out all the time and have a blast, then I can start actually asking people to do things. Then I have cycles where I spend most of my free time alone, and start all this crap all over again.

Im probably rambling, and I hate when I ramble. Im going to bed.

I am oh so very tired. I have literally been on the go all day. With very little sleep. After I woke up at 9pm last night, I tried to sleep some more which didnt happen. Then I got up and talked to Corrine online for a short time and got a drink, and then posted about the dog and tried sleeping again. Well I can remember seeing 3:22am on the clock, and then two hours later I was up and in the shower.

I got VTO about quarter to ten, and then went to Wal*Mart to look at bedding and when I got home I remembered there was a funeral today. I got ready and went to that right away and since I've been home I have been working in my bedroom with very few breaks. My back is sore. I have made it almost around the entire room on one roll of tape. I am impressed! I debated starting painting tonight because I can very easily get two walls done without needing to move any of the rest of the furniture (my bed, dresser, and aquarium) but I dont think I will. If I do anything else tonight it will be to move the bed to the other side of the room to tape as far of that wall that I can tonight. My room has not been so empty since I first moved in. It is weird. I cant wait until it is finished though. It is very exciting for me.

Now that I only have the one transparent shower curtain, showering in my bathroom is very bright and sunny. I can now see that the tub is dirtier than I had originally thought. Heh. I should maybe clean that the first chance I get. Not today. Or tomorrow. Maybe Wednesday.

I am going to find out now what we're having for supper.

Obviously there arent any shots of my bedroom yet, as I havent even started painting it yet. I went to Wal*Mart this morning after I got VTO to check into some new bedding. I wound up spending $80 on two throw pillows, a new pillow sham, a pillow case for my body pillow, and a new shower curtain. That is my new shower curtain.

I had originally had a 101 Dalmations curtain there with a burgundy one behind it. I couldnt afford to buy two shower curtains today, and I had not realized that this one was so clear. Fuck it, its not like people come into the bathroom while Im showering anyway. I like the curtain though, I didnt realize how well it went with the bathroom until I took this shot.

It was fifteen years ago today that Operation Desert Storm began in Iraq under the American leadership of George Bush Sr. Well, they've certainly come a long way, havent they?

Also, I was blog-hopping yesterday and I cannot remember where I saw this thought: In the 1960s, during the Vietnam war, there was a cultural revolution caused by people who opposed the war. It is how many years later, with a similar war happening, and where is the revolution? Why dont people care as much now as they did then?

Internet, I would be lying if I said that I didnt start wearing more low cut tops reciently just so that I can catch him checking out my cleavage.

And while we're at it, I suppose I should admit that I've wanted him in the absolute worst way since sometime in December when he told me that he was single.

Even though I got VTO today and came home early, I decided not to go to dinner because I was going to stay home and get a head start on prepping my room for painting on Tuesday. If you know me as well as you should, then you know that this meant I spent the evening napping. I woke up at 9pm and saw the little stuffed dog I bought yesterday suspiciously lying in the middle of my floor. I picked it up and the head was all full of the slobber and missing an eye. I knew who had done this, as evidenced by the tufts of black fur now all over my floor. Well, that and the little brown dog is not destructive. As you can imagine, I was annoyed. So much for leaving my door open so they dont get lonely when we're home alone.

Also, I missed Grey's Anatomy.

Another thing that bothered me was that she was able to trot downstairs and come into my room without me hearing her. I didnt have my earplugs in, and they always nose at me to see if Im awake (I was facing the wall). I am not a heavy sleeper without my earplugs. I am not usually a heavy sleeper with my earplugs either, for that matter, but without earplugs I hear everything and cannot fall asleep at all. It could be because when I nap, my head is at the foot of the bed, therefore making it different, but I cant really explain it. And all of the lights were on! I need complete darkness to really sleep. Maybe I was just really tired.

I havent eaten anything in twelve hours.

I decided that for lunch I needed something greasy and skipped the lunch that I had brought with me in favor of something from the cafeteria downstairs. I paid for my poutine with a $10 and the change she gave me was exactly $6.66. Amusing.

Oh, my voice is doing well today. I am really hoarse, but I can make it through words and sentences without it cutting out on me. This is a good thing. To describe how I sound, Elisha said that I sound like I was out last night.. at a rave.

Also, I am totally wearing Betty Boop underpants today.

-When I stopped at Needs this morning to buy Frutopia, I saw they were selling Mini-Eggs. I bought a package and now I feel all nauseous because I started my day with chocolate. Bleck.

-It was nine degrees Celsius at half past six this morning.

-I think tonight Im going to get a kickstart on my bedroom. I can take everything off of the walls, and take down the valance off of my window. Hrm, I suppose I could also wash down some of the walls too. If I am feeling particularly inclined, I might even clean the shit out from under my bed. Mind you, this would occur around Grey's Anatomy, certainly not during. Tomorrow, right when I get home I'll get Paul to help me move my dresser and aquarium right when I get home from work so that I can get all the prep work finished. I plan to do the first coat of paint right when I get home from Curves on Tuesday morning. I'll probably wait until Wednesday morning to do the second coat. I really like the color too, the woman at Wal*Mart put some of it on a piece of paper and dried it with a hairdryer and it looked really pretty dry. I cant wait to see it on my walls.

-I need to get batteries for my camera to take pictures of my room once its finished.

-So last night as I was fighting to get my things into the house, Emma decided that she was going to take it upong her self to dash out the door and run about the neighbourhood. I then had to spend the next twenty or so minutes walking up and down the street trying to entice her with luncheon meats. I thought that I was frigged when another dog came around cuz I figured she'd take off with him but actually that only lasted about five minutes when she came running over to me for the last piece of ham that I had, and I took the opportunity to grab her collar and run into the house. She was ready to go in at that point, she had had her run. Pain in the ass that dog is.

-I've been trying really hard this week to drink more water rather than Coke. Today will be the test as it will be the first ten hour shift I've worked since the sixth. At home, its a different story. There's no room in the freezer for the ice cube trays, and I cannot drink water at home without ice cubes. This sounds lame, I know, but I am rather obsessive-compulsive, and it makes sense in my head. Those who are used to me no longer ask questions.

-I can already tell this will be a long day. Le sigh..

Yet another reason I love Bunny.

*sigh* What a long (but hella fun) day.

I just got home from roughly six and a half hours of shopping. Dont worry, we stopped for food in that time. I bought my paint (and painting accessories). I also bought a really cute $20 pair of shoes at Wal*Mart and six pairs of new undiewears. I bought myself some perfume, body sparkles (Im not quite sure why, probably for my hair), lipgloss and some little things like that. Oh, and I got myself a stuffed dog at Pennington's when Janice went in to spend a gift certificate.

And, we stopped at the sex store, and I bought (you guessed it) condoms and lube! Too bad I have nobody to use it on.

Im tired now.

Kay, this is wrong in ways that make me laugh out loud.

And yes, I am technically in bed.

According to FireFox, tomorrow it supposed to be eleven degrees (Celcius) and sunny out. Naturally, when I had shitty tires on my car in December we had two storms. Just so I could practice dying. Now that I have four new studded winter tires, we're having a balmy January. Of course. Not that I want snow, mind you, I'd just like to test my studs now that I have them.

My Flickr! photostream has been viewed 97 times.

I am going shopping tomorrow. I have never been so excited to buy paint in my life. I can assure you I will be purchasing more than paint and paint accessories. I hope to buy undiewears!

So that trainer from yesterday had to go over something with me again today. Again I watched him obviously check out mah titties, and I wasnt near as chesty today as I was yesterday. I took it upon myself today to get flirty. I havent had action since sometime in June, Im hurtin'! Granted, I spent most of that time dealing with baggage, and the last thing I wanted was another human sticking tab P into slot V (or slot M, or even slot A if we're being adventurous).

So, yeah...

Condoms and lube!

I think tomorrow I will buy rechargable batteries for my camera. That's my CAMERA, not my bunny. Surprisingly, I dont go through that many batteries in the bunny. The mileage is good.

Ya know what's sad? Today, when I moved the "pay my bills" money from my savings account to my chequing account, I had more money left over than I actually got paid last payday.

I am listening to the Blank Label Comics Podcast in the background. I am only half paying attention to what they're saying, but I like listening to their voices.

I only use iTunes for the Podcasts. I dont even own an iPod.

I think Im getting tired now. Its funny, because I only got up at 10:30am. Lie, I woke up at 6:30am long enough to call work and tell them that I was going to be late. I made it in for 1pm. I just knew that I couldnt handle spending ten hours on the phone. I hate my job. I want to know who I have to blow to get moved to a different contract. I would do it. I swear.

Im going to bed. I have to get up at five in order to give me enough time to do my hair so I can be pretty for shopping.

Condoms and lube!

Happy Friday 13th!

Oh, and change is in the air, and its more than just my bedroom. Stay tuned.

I mentioned the other day that it was the ten year anniversary of my uncle Peter's death. He died of leukemia, after only suffering for about four weeks. At the same time, neighbours of mine, Art and his wife Mary both were fighting cancer. I cannot recall what exact cancer Mary had, but I know Art had leukemia like my uncle, only Peter had two types of acute leukemia whereas Art only had one type. I dont know if things have changed much, but ten years ago, having two types of acute leukemia was a death sentence. Anyway, Mary's cancer was cleared up with chemotherapy and she has been healthy since. On the day of my uncle's death Art recieved a bone marrow transplant. They say new bone marrow only gives you another ten years.

Today I went up to the ER to see if there was anything that could be done to hurry my voice along. The nice doctor (very attractive, I might add) assured me that I have already been treated (the antibiotics I had two weeks ago) and now its just a waiting game. He told me to drink lots of fluids, and other than that Im stuck with lozenges.

On my way out I passed my neighbour Mary, and her sister Fran on their way in to visit Art. Art has been hospitalized for the past couple of weeks. I had been told that he wouldnt be going home this time. Anyway, Mary saw me and said "Hi Jenna, how are you doing?" and I replied back with my usual "Not bad, how are you?" and cringed internally because I knew her dying husband was upstairs, but she laughed and said "Well, obviously Im doing better than you are" in reference to the voice that I dont have. That was earlier. When my brother was hauling groceries in earlier Karla called him and told him that there was going to be a funeral. Art died tonight. I dont believe that it was expected to have happened tonight, the way Mary was talking to me earlier. But, of course, people handle things differently. Obviously I have been saddened this evening.

Quote I saw on someone's LJ icon today:

Spiteful words can hurt your feelings, but silence breaks your heart.

Too true.

I spent the last umm four or so hours napping, which means that Im screwed for the rest of the night, both for sleeping and eating. I still hear rain outside though.

Both dogs are downstairs with me which can only mean that Im home alone. Yay! But I still want to go up to the ER and see what they'll tell me about my voice.

Oh, at work this morning, one of the trainers on our contract had to go over a few things with me and I distinctly caught him looking at my cleavage a good three times in the ten minutes we were sitting talking. I would be lying if I said that I didnt enjoy it. I take pleasure in the small things.

I had to leave work today because my vocal cords virtually stopped functioning. This does not make talking on the phone in any way easy. And we were busy. I plan to go to the ER in a bit because it has been two weeks since I was able to talk normally.

So I was reading the comments to this post on John Allison's blog and I was struck by a quote:

Then again, who's to say Blogger isn't just the 21st century version of reading aloud from your diary?

. While I dont completely disagree with this statement, I dont totally agree. Yes, blogs are essentially diaries where you pour your most intimate thoughts/feelings into, but being on the internet they are there for anyone and everyone to read. It is quite a masturbatory endeavor. There is always the sense of performance when you know that people will be reading what you write. There's the "what to share, what not to share" aspect because you cant always know who is reading. There are places like Live Journal, where you can set up friend's lists and only allow those people to view what you write, but I think that might be worse being as how you know exactly who will be reading. I dont post in my LJ, so I cant really comment on that from experience. A blog is something much more than a diary ever was, its like putting on your own play whilst naked in the rain.

I know Im up way too late for having to get up tomorrow at 5:16am, but there are a couple of things I need to get out before I forget.

-At the restaurant last night they were playing music from my youth. Im talking frikking Stone Temple Pilots here. I nearly fell outta the booth, honestly. Other mentionable songs were Pretty Fly For A White Guy, and Ghetto Superstar by Mya. Also, there was some mix of a Destiny's Child song over Smells Like Teen Spirit that turned my stomach. We will speak no more of that.

-Today at the gym there was a woman there who's boobs actually hung down to her waist. To her waist! I think this is the first time I have ever actually seen this on a real person. Let me tell you, I have never been so glad to have tiny titties in my life! Mine will only slide under my armpits when I get old.

-I got the hair waxed off of my upper lip for the first time tonight. That hurts like a motherfucker! I do not suggest it when you're sensitive like I am. Oh, and I also got the hair waxed off of the tops of my feet. (Im like a Hobbit, little with hairy feet. Sexy!) That did not hurt so much. Eyebrows hurt as much as ever though. And Im still brave enough to go get a Brazillian! Yes, I am a sucker for punishment.

I am so looking forward to going shopping on Saturday. If I can actaully make it through the next twenty-five hours of work it will be amazing. Oh, and I decided on a paint color - "Raspberry Swirl". Mother even agreed that it was pretty.

And off to bed.

This article is interesting, because this is my job. I cant tell you how many time's I've heard "Well, at least you're not in India" from someone on the phone. They dont realize how ignorant they make themselves out to be, even if Im sure they really arent.

A big pet peeve of mine is when the water in my aquarium evaporates enough that I can hear the water pouring out of the filter. Its not that it makes me need to pee or anything, the noise just annoys me. Currently it is about two gallons less than I normally like it, and the noise is driving me insane. I am not going to fill it yet, being as how Paul and I have to move the thing on Monday, and its going to be heavy enough. (Its a fifteen gallon tank)

Note to self: Buy fishfood on Saturday. And new filter inserts. And another hermit crab. My last hermit crab died sometime last week.

We went out for supper tonight and it was good. Paul decided that we needed to get nachos for an appetizer, which meant that none of us were able to finish our meals. That didnt stop me from getting dessert though. For my entree, Mom and I ordered the Alfredo with chicken and mushrooms. I found it a little heavy on the wine, I prefer a creamier sauce. Even the chicken tasted a bit too winey. It wasnt enough that I couldnt eat it, but I doubt I'll order it again. I was disappointed. For dessert I had a slice of chocolate eruption cake, the exact same as what is served at Pizza Delight. They must use the same distributor. The cake was good. I didnt finish that either.

Im tired and I spent half the day in bed. But currently Im about to climb into a freshly made bed with freshly washed sheets, my favorite!

Before I even got dressed today I had my bedsheets off the bed and into the washer. I believe this was to make up for not doing anything yesterday. When I got home from Curves I got started on the gutting of my bedroom. I did pretty well, if I do say so myself. I filled three garbage bags with mostly stuff from underneath my desk and aquarium. Things like old magazines and birthday cards that I'll never look at again. I realize this makes me sound like a hoarder, which really Im not. Im just too lazy to do thorough cleanings all that often. I had planned on cleaning out underneath my bed today, before I put the bedclothes back on, but I ran out of garbage bags. That, and I wanted to shower. I will save the vacuuming until tomorrow. I was also going to wipe down the walls tomorrow, but I think I'll save that until Monday. I dont plan on moving my dresser or my aquarium unless Im going to leave them out to paint, and a week is too long to go with those two things out in the middle of the room. I figure on Monday I'll get Paul to help me move them (the rest of the furniture I can move myself) and get all the taping done on that day as well. Painting shall commence on Tuesday if everything goes as planned.

Janice put it best yesterday when she said "Your life has changed, its time you change your room." Most of the things on my walls are not going back up. I started today taking things down and throwing out some things. The Peanuts stickers that you see in the photo on the right, they're not going back up. Dont worry, Im saving them (me throw out something Peanuts? I dont think so). I think Im going to keep my Happy Bunny poster up, but Im going to move out to where I currently have the daisy picture. The daisy is going to go above my dresser, and the picture that is there is going away. The picture that Maria painted when I was a baby is going to go above my bed where the Happy Bunny poster currently is, and the fairy picture will replace that one. The only thing staying the same will be the foil butterfly balloon that's up on the wall above the Peanuts characters.

I also plan on getting new bedclothes. Janice is going to order me one of the really nice blankets from work if she can. I dont know if Im going to use that as my spread, or just as a throw. I might look elsewhere for a nice spread. I've been told to get flannel sheets, though. Mom got them and she said they're not too warm (and Mom is one who minds the heat), and really comfy. I need new sheets anyway.

I realized that my uncle Peter, who redid our basement so that I could have my own bedroom, died ten years ago today. Its kind of ironic that Im choosing now to redo the whole thing.

Before I came home from work today I ran into Wal*Mart and picked up paint swatches to compare with my carpeting to choose a color. Im drawn to both "Raspberry Swirl" and "Sophia", with the former being a shade darker than the latter. Paul thinks I should go a shade lighter than either with "Raspberry White", but I think it might be too light. I'll bring swatches with me tomorrow when I go to Curves with Janice and she can give me input. I suppose I should ask my mother for her input as well.

Other than going to Curves and providing supper (pizza), I did nothing else today. Tomorrow we're going to Boston Pizza for supper as a family (including my father, oh joy). That shall prove interesting, if nothing else.

I love this.

Im going to do it. Im going to paint my bedroom. Im going to paint my bedroom pink. First things first, I need to really clean my bedroom. Underneath my desk, are the cards I recieved from people for graduation. Highschool graduation. (Im a college dropout remember). There are binders underneath my bed full of papers and stories and shit that I used to write in highschool. I havent changed anything on the walls since I did go to university. All that shit is going to the garbage. I plan to spend the better part of Tuesday and Wednesday gutting this room. At the same time, I really should use the opportunity to gut at least one closet, most likely the walk-in one and get rid of clothes I no longer wear.

Saturday, when Janice and I (and whoever else would like to come with) are shopping, I will buy paint and painting accessories. Also, I would like to buy shoes. And candy, I want candy. Next week on my days off I plan to start the painting. I will probably end up having to paint the whole room myself, but that's alright. I can do this. I did my bathroom a couple of years ago, this room is only three times longer. Plus, my back could use the strain. I dont do enough to strain my back.

After work tomorrow Im going to the gym. I havent been there since last week, and I didnt push myself then because I was too sick. Im debating joining Weight Watchers if they still have their $15 registration fee going on. I need to look into that.

I think tomorrow afternoon I'll paint my toenails. I see they need it.

I have become addicted to Madonna's song "Hung Up". I am so embarrassed.

That's me both being handy by hanging a picture by myself, and playing with the settings on my camera for a really cool looking shot.

While taking down the stuff that was already on that wall, in order to put that picture up, I decided that the walls of my room desperately need to be painted. It will be twelve years this March that I've been in this room and it hasnt been repainted since I've been down here. I am going to buy paint when I go shopping on Saturday. I'll have to ask Mom if I will need two or three gallons of paint. The room (I think) is 12'x15', but there's only one full wall. One wall has the door to one closet, the other short wall has a window and the cabinet that hides the fuse box, and the other long wall has the other closet door, my built-in shelves, and the bedroom door. But its going to need two coats, so Im probably better off buying too much paint than not enough. I really think that Im going to paint the room a shade of pink. The carpet is a raspberry color, so it'll match at least. This just means that Im really going to have to clean the room before I can paint it. It needs a real thorough cleaning anyway.

The photo is blurry because my mirror is dirty with hairspray and such things. I decided to start tracking my own progress as I move along to getting thinner. (Notice that Im not wearing one item of black clothing to try and hide anything.) As of last week I had only lost a couple of pounds, but I havent been able to eat the past two weeks so Im sure we can add a few more pounds to that total. Also, irregardless of the fact that the actual pounds are slow to drop, I can tell in the way some of my clothes fit me lately. I expected for clothes to fit me better in the belly, but Im surprised to notice that my jeans are looser in the thigh area. This is good. I will be glad to rid myself of the thunder thighs.

Also, I've been noticing reciently how long my hair has been getting. I know its not "long", but when you compare it to photos from a year ago its grown at least four inches, and is past the point of being able to be pushed behind my shoulders.

I think I will go shoe shopping next Saturday afternoon. Friday I will be getting paid almost 100 hours, and I would like to buy a pair of shoes with a little heel on them. Not dress shoes, but like a boot that I can wear with jeans to dressy them up a bit. Company would be nice, to stop for food with, and have a general afternoon out. I will be finished work at noon.

Me, happy, say what? Sex toy shopping is probably one of my favorite past-times! Well, that and buying cosmetics. Anyway, Paul and I took Amy shopping this afternoon because one of her vibrators broke and she needed to get a new one. So first we went to Pizza Delight for food because none of us had eaten anything today up to that point. I probably ate more there than I've eaten all week. Then we went to Sydney Video where we browsed the vibrators for a good half an hour before Amy decided on what she wanted. It was her purple one that broke, and we found a pink one of those that she bought. Then she was looking at another one (that lights up!) and Paul bought it for her as a Christmas present. I was broke, so I just bought a couple of flavored condoms (mint and grape) and a glow in the dark one, also I got two little packets of flavored lube (cinnamon and pina colada) even though I dont have a boy currently. I must mention though, that there is a boy at work that I want in the worst way, not just to fornicate with, but I seriously would go out with this guy. And give him head, heh. Nonetheless, I doubt I'll have contact with him after this week so there's no use on dwelling. ANYWAY, after the sex store Amy needed shampoo so we went into the Joico store and talked with Joann and Caitlin for another good half an hour and then came home. It feels good to get out now that Im actually feeling good. I was too miserable to really enjoy being out Saturday or last Thursday. Today made me feel social again, and buying condoms made me want a boy. I really need to get laid.

Oh, and when we were ringing our purchases through at the sex store, the girl asked me if I wanted my stuff in a bag or just in my purse. I said that I'd take it in my purse and joked about walking out with a bag of condoms and lube. Amy piped up and said "Well, it'd tell people you were easy" and I quipped back "I can say that out loud" and the girl behind the counter busted up laughing and said that we were probably gonna be the highlight of her night.

Ignore me for being whiney earlier, that is what blogs are for.

Its that time again, I need new tunes.

I went and got my nails done, but I dont feel any better. We were supposed to go out for supper to Boston Pizza tonight but Mom says she's too sick. Tomorrow there's supposed to be a shopping trip, but since Im isolated from the rest of civilization I really have no idea.

Lets hope I get actual sleep tonight.

Something's got me in a grumbly mood and I cant quite put my finger on it. I know this, though, I havent felt this lonely in a long time. I dont know if its because the holidays are over, or because Im still on the different shift/floor, or what it is. I do know that its not whats causing me to be all grumbly.

Im going to get nails.

Today was a long day. In a ten hour shift I took two calls. No, not like yesterday where I literally couldnt talk. Today, I just only took two calls. My first call was at 10am and the lady couldnt run any of her games on her brand new (just for Christmas) computer, but she could run them all on her old PC. Obviously this isnt my issue, this is an OEM issue. Regardless, I decide to poke around with her and check driver dates and whatnot to be nice, and it turns out that she hasnt hooked up her PC to the internet yet to update her XP. People like that I want to smack. I sent her off to do her updates and call back if she had any further issues.

I didnt take my second call until about quarter past seven (yes, seven). That lady was trying to play some casino games online but sometimes she would get a low memory error. She couldnt duplicate it for me right there. Then it dawned on me what it was, so I confirmed that her OS was 98 and told her just to restart her PC the next time that happened. She was like "Yeah, that never happens on my XP machine". I wanted to smack her too, rather than have to educate this old lady on how 98 and XP utilize resources differently. These are the calls I get.

On the bright side, I spent the rest of the time playing games. And I got my free game to take home too. I decided to take AoE3 because I've played the demo and I really like it. I could have taken Fable but I've never played that, though it looks cool. Either way, for the next little while, you can guess what I'll be occupying my time with.

I felt really good today compared to how I was feeling all along. I can even talk! My voice is not great, but it isnt cutting out constantly on me like it was yesterday. People can actually understand me. Jonathan was a sweetheart today and left me in the less busy queue though, so as to not strain my voice. I swear he's my favorite supervisor.

A bunch of guys from work are quitting to go out west and work. Jason was quitting today. I'll miss him. He was constantly cutting people up and picking on everyone. There were a few other people that I knew personally who were/are quitting, but wont miss. It gives me the urge to pull up roots and migrate somewhere. Its too bad I dont have the available funds :/ Tomorrow, though, I think I'll get my nails done after work. I havent had my nails done in a year and I need to feel pretty.

Time for bed.

Um, my mother was already gone to the ER when I got home from work at half past eight. Its now midnight and she's not home yet. I dont have a vehicle home so I cant go driving around. Someone would have called though if something had happened, right?

[EDIT]: Its now twenty after midnight and I just heard her come in.

I worked a ten hour shift today and only took two calls. My voice was so bad that thirty minutes into my second call I had to get Jonathan to have someone else take over because the customer couldnt hear me. He didnt even put up a fuss, he just got up and found someone to take the call. Then, after I came back from lunch I asked him if there was anything I could do off of the phone like data entry or something, or get VTO because I still couldnt talk, so he told me to go and sit into idle while he heard back from Ernie. That lasted the last five hours of my shift. He didnt bother me at all, he came by once to ask how my voice was and I tried talking to him and it didnt exactly work so he just left me be. I played games for like three or four of those hours. Jonathan is now my favorite supervisor. Im gonna miss him when I go back up to my own floor on Sunday.

I was uploading the few (four) photos that I took at New Year's, and Flickr told me how many people have viewed my photos. A lot of people have viewed my photos! For a few minutes the internet really creeped me out.

Oh, and more people looked at the picture of my new slippers than any other picture. That's kinky.

Happy 2006.

I tend not to make New Year's resolutions. I am really horrible at actually meeting goals that I set for myself. Last year (2005) though, I had intended to do three things: do something about my relationship, join a gym, and choose a new career path. I have completed two of those things (emancipation, and joining Curves). I have put great thought into a new career path, but I have not decided on anything. That will be my goal for two thousand and six.

I feel slightly better today. I went to dinner and ate quite a bit, for how sick I am. Then I had to come home and spend the rest of the day laying on the chesterfield watching television. I crackle when I breathe! Oh, and it burns when I swallow. Combine that with the constant sniffling, and horking and spitting when I cough, being sick is turning out to be hella fun. Eight days and counting!

I have ten hours of work tomorrow. I should sleep.

Ahh fuck it, I went out. I got my shower, and I did my hair and got dressed and put makeup on, and Paul and I went to Janice's. Everyone was already there by then, and they werent expecting me, because I was so sick, but that was okay. I didnt have very much to drink, as I didnt buy liquor. Janice had bought everyone vodka shooters, so I made juice and split it into two drinks. Then at the bar (yes, I stayed out long enough to go to the bar) I had one cooler and that was it.

Ahh, the bar. There were tons of people there that I havent seen in ages, and Janice and I did our usual gossiping and whatnot about who was with who and all that stuff. What totally made my night was seeing the guy who we'll call my unfinished business (that's a story I dont usually tell). He looked as hot as ever. I didnt talk to him, but Janice said he nodded at me (I was after walking past). I knew that he had seen me though because I made eye contact with him twice. I would fuck that guy in a heartbeat. I swear, all he'd have to do is ask. Seeing him, and knowing that he aknowledged me made me feel good, despite being so sick. And I still cant talk.

Oh, and because Amy broke one of her vibrators, her and I and Paul (and whoever else) are going into Sydney on Thursday so that she can get another one. I might get nails put on too since GST cheques will be out.

And Im off to bed.