Disclaimer: the following rant is my opinion and does not reflect any one particular person or couple, especially you. Despite me welcoming honest debate on all of my posts, dont bother flaming, I delete those.

I swear, If you ever hear me say that the person Im dating completes me, I give you all permission to take me out behind the shed and put me out of my misery. Although, you will probably never experience me being that needy or gaggy. I just, guh, couples like that make me want to throw rocks. If you're in love with your partner, and your partner makes you want to be a better you, more power to you. If your partner makes you feel great about yourself, fantastic! If you say your partner completes you, I may or may not throttle you. See, its like this: if you say your partner completes you, it automatically infers that you were not a whole person to begin with. If you were not a whole person to begin with, what did you have to bring into a relationship other than desperation? Wouldnt the relationship be more fulfilling if both parties came into it as whole people, and simply made each other better? I will be the first to admit that I have esteem issues stemming from my appearance, but I refuse to let that force me to be desperate for a guy to love me. I cannot just sit around and only be satisfied with myself when I have a guy's attention.

Maybe that is why Im still single, but if a guy can only be with me when Im emotionally dependant, I would rather be single. Besides, I am far too emotionally detached to actually get that desperate. I admit it, I am slow to allow my emotions to enter into a relationship (sex is just sex), and Im always emotionally reserved in order to protect myself. Its easier to not get hurt that way. Granted, it is something that needs working on, but I wouldnt want to change that completely. I refuse to give a guy my everything unless, and until, he proves himself worthy. This could take years, but if the person is worth it, I am okay with that. See, the reason for this is because, despite my emotional issues, I am still a whole person. I can enter into a relationship saying "I dont need you" because I dont. I am satisfied being single despite society telling me it is bad. (It is not bad to be okay being alone. You are worth something if you are not dating anyone.)

Im obviously not a very romantic person. Well, no, scratch that. I try not to abide by romantic ideals, and the thought of a white knight riding in on his steed to rescue me from myself is just too romantic. I know that I need to make myself happy before I can make someone else happy AND I need to make myself happy before I can expect anyone else to do the same. Therefore, a lover, or a boyfriend, or a husband will never complete me. They will compliment me when I've completed myself.

After seeing Pirates last night, I must say Cthulhu plays an absolutely wonderful Davy Jones. I cant wait to see what he does next! Joking aside, I enjoyed the movie a great deal, well except for it ending half way through the story (!!). Now I am going to have to wait until the next release to find out what happens. I do believe this is a trilogy that I will own.

I adore the fact that I live within an hours drive from places that look like this:

Okay, so last night about 2am my dad's on the computer and he thought he heard a car door shut but didnt think anything of it (figured it was next door), and then all of a sudden he looks and there's a girl's face in the window. First he thinks its me but when he goes to the door he realizes its one of my brother's friends. He was like um, hi, and she asked if Paul was there. Dad says that Paul's in bed (he went to bed at like 10:30) so she goes "Well can you get him up i have to talk to him". So Dad goes in and Paul wouldnt wake up, he just told Dad to take a message and he'd call her later so Dad goes back to the door and asks what she wants and she was like "Oh he's got a cd that I want and I tried calling him but he didnt answer".

Honestly, who the hell things its acceptable to show up at someone's parent's house at 2am to pick up a movie? She even told my father to wake my brother up. Im sorry, but if one of my friends showed up at my house asking for me to be woken up and it wasnt a crisis situation I would be pissed, which my brother is, obviously. It just shows the special type of people that he hangs around with.

~

I recommend the song Misogyny by rusty. They were a Canadian band back in the 90's. I thought of that song yesterday and had the urge to download it. I think Live and The Tea Party last weekend kicked me back to the tunes I was into in highschool. Music was so much better then.

~

I got a raise yesterday. I now make a whopping $11/hr. While I am happy about this, I am bothered by the fact that people who have been working there for four months are also making $11/hr, and I will be there four years in October. Beggers shouldnt be choosers, I suppose. The firs thing Im going to do with my wealth is get my new tattoo. Its going to be another butterfly. On my upper back. Dont worry, there'll be photos.

~

I want to hook up with someone, but how does one broach that subject? Even though we parted on good terms, and still talk every now and then, it seems awkward to say "Hey, lets have sex!". Combine that with my low self esteem and fear of rejection (does he even like me anymore?) and we have the breakfast of champions. Then again, we have to think, do I want to hook up with him because its him, or because we had something before and its easier to go back to what you know than to find something different? I still dont care to be in a relationship, with anyone, because I am not prepared to give up any part of myself to another person just yet. Yes I am going to make the statement that every relationship causes you to give up something of yourself. I am not going to say that this is always a bad thing. When its the right person, they bring out the best in you, and you want to be your best person when you are with them. But then there are the bad relationships. A year later, Im still running scared and I am not afraid to admit that. I would rather admit that I am running scared than jump into a situation that Im not ready for and cause another person heartache. I've had that done to me and it is not pleasant.

But just because I dont want something emotional, does not mean that this girl doesnt have needs. I havent had sex in months and Im hurtin. I do have a guy friend that would hook up with me in a heartbeat. I know all I would have to do is say the word and he'd be here to get me tonight if I wanted. This is a guy that I know adores me, but I dont consider him anything more than a friend. Dont get me wrong, he's a great guy, but he wants something more than I do, and if I hooked up with him I'd feel like I was taking advantage of him because his feelings are different than mine. Do I feel like I would be taking advantage of the guy I spoke of previously? No. I've had feelings for him previously. We did not end because either one of us stopped liking each other. But then again, I havent seen or been around him since it's been over and who's to say I see him and he's just a friend? Hormones can cloud judgement, and I am the type of person who is so careful not to misstep that I take no steps at all.

My problem, you see, is that if I take the risk and are rejected, I wouldnt be able to be friends with him anymore. It would knock me down a few notches, and my self esteem is low enough, that I really dont need that kind of hurt. See, I dont whine about it, but I honestly cannot see why anybody else would find me in any ways attractive. I look in the mirror and see fat, even though logically I know Im not big. I always see the ugly in the mirror, regardless of what other people tell me. I dont see what a guy would see in me. I've been told, this week (by a guy), that Im pretty and sexy and have so much to offer someone but I dont see it. I just dont see it and Im tired of feeling like this. I know everybody has something about themself that they dont like, or would change, but Im sick of feeling like Im not good enough and I dont know what to do about it. I will admit, though, that I've had a few days this week where I've felt pretty, and to be quite honest, it is a strange feeling. I am not used to looking in the mirror and thinking "Not half bad". I think its because Im getting more satisfied with my complexion, and I've been looking a bit thinner. I really wish I could have pretty days no matter what I looked like.

Enough whining, bedtime.

I want to have sex with him, again.

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

Anaïs Nin

Is it too much to ask to get my order the way I ordered it? I stopped at McDonald's for breakfast and ordered a BLT bagel with mayo on the side. I specifically said not to put mayo on the bagel. What do you think I got? Mayo on my bagel. This meant the mayo was after having a chance to get warmed up by the bacon and the bagel, and there's just something really disgusting about biting into something and getting a huge glob of hot mayo squirt into my mouth. Im sure you understand. Plus, Im not a huge fan of mayo anyway.

On a completely unrelated note, I think I need a hook-up.

If you're wondering what I bought at the Fantasia party, I bought really nice body butter (cherry flavour) because my feet are starting to peel.

I hauled out my little mini denim skirt tonight, and I didnt think it looked half bad. I have really ugly legs. My legs are one of the parts of my body that I hate the most. I despise the shape of them. I despise the fact that they make it very difficult to find pants and shorts that fit me properly (not that I cant find the right size, I just dont like the way things look). The best part? My legs look the same in baby pictures as they do now, so obviously I was just lucky enough to have been born with ugly legs. BUT, other than when I was sitting down, I didnt feel self-consious in my mini skirt at all (and keep in mind that it comes down to about three inches above my knee, its not mini mini). Actually, I havent even been all that self-consious about my tummy lately. Not that I feel its gotten any smaller, mind you, but I see girls who are bigger than I am wearing the size I do. Obviously if they can dress like that, why cant I? Im always presentable, right? Right.

I think what Im most insecure about is my complexion. I am twenty-five years old and I get pimples, constantly. I have really oily skin and I use no less than three different products throughout the day in order to try and curb oilyness and prevent pimples. I would also love it if my pores shrank, but lets not ask too much here. For now I'd be happy with just normal skin. *sigh*

I know, that's dangerous, but I was. I was thinking that I'd like to go on one of those all inclusive vactations next year. I dont know where, someplace warm. Maybe the end of next summer, or in the fall. Even though they're not altogether expensive, a year would give me plenty of time to save up money without having to totally skimp. Also, a year would give me time to reduce my girth* (although Kim said last night it looked like I lost weight) and try to be presentable in a bathing suit.

Anybody else interested in a trip?

*I have issues with my weight, obviously.

Also, I cannot find my perfume.

Thank you Corrine, here are some guy's pictures from the show we saw on Sunday. He had better seats than we did.

This post is going to be long and, in order to save bandwith I will be just linking to photos rather than posting them. You can view them all at Flickr starting here. Note: not all links are to photos, some just better explain my story.



Im home. It was an amazing time and I really dont know if I can properly describe the weekend in all its glory.

Friday night came and put a bit of a damper on our weekend. Amanda instant messaged Corrine to tell her that she couldnt come with us due to stuff at home. This sucked, obviously because Amanda couldnt come with us, but because now we had this extra concert ticket that we couldnt get rid of. Even knowing a week before, we could have gotten someone else to come with (we could think of two or three people just off the top of our heads who would have gladly come if given notice). Plus, now this meant that it would be going halves on gas and accomadations, rather than thirds. Oh well, there wasnt a whole lot we could do about that at 10:30pm on Friday night.

Saturday I got to work to find out that the hour off I had asked for at the end of my shift was denied, so I had to work until four as per usual. I worked my shift and flew to my aunt's house to pick up a care package we were going to drop off to my cousin, and then flew home where Corrine was already waiting for me. We got on the road shortly after half past four (see, I said I flew home, I live twenty minutes from work). So we were off.

We were motoring along, talking, when Corrine realized that she had been a dumbass and volunteered for training on Monday from 9am-5pm. This is obviously a problem because we werent expecting to be getting back until somewhere around 11am, see, because she normally doesnt have work until 1pm. Dingbat. (I love you!) This wasnt a huge problem, her job wasnt in jeopardy or anything, it was just one of those stupid frig-ups that people do. It was something that we were still laughing at on the way home. Im chuckling to myself thinking about it. So, anyway, Corrine calls her sister and has Tara email Corrine's supervisor telling her of the mixup and that she'd be at work as soon as she could. There, problem solved.

We stopped for lunch at the Big Stop, nothing major. I had a cheeseburger and she had a chicken burger, then we didnt have to stop again until we got into the city. Getting to the city, we took the wrong exit and ended up on our way to Peggy's Cove. This was something after nine at night, so it was dark out, and we were lost sidetracked. It didnt take us more than a couple of minutes to actually get back to the city, and then we had to find the dorm we were staying in. We were driving around aimlessly when we came upon the Halifax Jazz Festival, where, standing on a corner, was a guy dressed in a superhero outfit. Im talking full spandex suit, underoos, and cape. The whole shebang. We were stopped at a redlight when Corrine spotted him, and we were both scrambling to find our cameras, when the light went green and we had to turn and we didnt get a photo. But we turned and were right on top of the dorm where we were staying, which was kind of cool.

Our room. It wasnt anything spectacular. Granted, it did have its own sink, which meant that even though we had to pee and shower down the hall, we could brush our teeth in the privacy of our own room. We didnt remember to take pictures of the bathroom on our floor, and Im kicking myself for it. This bathroom was fancy. When you opened the door, the lights automatically turned on, and it happened individually in the shower stalls too. And these stalls were like their own little rooms, with the dividers and doors going floor to ceiling in both the batheroom stalls, and shower stalls. There was no passing toilet paper under the stalls here. The shower stalls themselves were huge too. And clean, oh my that bathroom was spotless.

Anyway, after we hauled our shit upstairs (we were on the third floor), we got ready and went outside and walked around town for a while, and then went back to our room because it was dark and it was the city and there were some strange characters about. I was left with a massive blister on my right foot (note: Old Navy flipflops are not for hiking) which is still bothering me, but I didnt let it stop me at all.

Sunday morning I woke up about half past nine, and we went and showered and got ready and walked to Smitty's for breakfast. It was really busy, but the food and service were up to our standards (high) and we were both impressed. We then crossed the road to the public gardens and were immediately presented with ducks, uhh, mating. I didnt get my camera in time, and I dont think she did either, but it was quite the sight to see. Personally I didnt think that the girl duck was all too impressed with being mounted, but she put up a strong front. We spent a long time in the park, just walking around taking photos. I took most of my photos there, and I could have easily spent the day just wandering around looking at the trees and ducks.

When we were finished there we went right downtown and walked aorund looking at things and ducking into those overpriced downtown stores that every city has. It was an awesome afternoon, just walking around poking into different places. Neither one of us bought anything for the most part (I think this is when I bought my $3.50 earrings), but just walking around poking into the random shops was an awesome way to spend an afternoon. We had to have done at least three kilometers, before we went back to our room. We chilled for a little while and then dropped my cousin's stuff off to her and headed back (in the car) to look for The Freak Lunch Box and ended up down at the waterfront where we parked and got out and acted like tourists. We found this neat little store called Cool As A Moose that sold the cutest tshirts. Yes, I bought one. Corrine bought herself one, as well as one for Steve (his was hilarious). We then found the Freak Lunch Box and both spent about $12 on candy.

We were tired at this point so we went back to our room and chilled and played cards for a while. When Corrine was mailed the tickets, she was also sent coupons for free hamburger platters at a pub near the forum (I forget the name of it at the moment, something Plum), so we headed down for free food. We walked in and saw that it was a peanut bar, meaning the place was filthy. We sat at a table (that was kind of sticky) and waited for ten or fifteen minutes and still no waitress. Corrine got up and got us menus in hopes that someone would come over. Eventually one of the three girls working did come over (three girls working this entire bar, which was packed) and took our order. We could see the kitchen where we were sitting and we saw our food get put up and sit for at least ten minutes. The poor cook had half a dozen dishes sitting up there getting cold, waiting for the girls to come and hand them out. Finally we got our food and luckily the burgers were still warm. They were really good burgers, props to the cook for that. The fries were overdone, and cold.

After we ate, we then had to sit and wait for our bills. All the while we're watching people come in, sit for ten minutes, and get up and leave because nobody was waiting on them. When we finally got our bills we went up to the bar to pay and our server walked by and barked "You dont pay at the bar", so we meekly asked the girl behind the bar where we pay. She told us (not all that snotty or anything) that we pay our server, who was nowhere to be found at this point, so the money was thrown on the table and we left. We got there before 5:30pm, and we left just before 7pm. For burger platters. Dirty pub, bad service, and mediocre food. I do not recommend that place, at all.

We walked to the forum and waited outside for ten minutes for them to open the doors before we could go in. While we were waiting outside, these two women walked by with these identical tight, red dresses on (barely covering their arses, naturally) with wide black belts around their waists, and really high heels on. Being us, we gave each other the "omg did you see that?" look, that we had been giving each other quite frequently all evening. Critical, no? So anyway, they finally let us in and we find our seats and get settled. We still had an hour so we went back upstairs looking for the merch table, to no avail, so we went back and sat down and waited for the show.

The show started at 8pm, and at this point we still had no idea who the opening act was. They came on stage, but it was too dark for me to tell who they were. Then the singing started and I think I wet myself. I turned to Corrine and shouted "Oh my god its the fucking TEA PARTY!" I may or may not have had an orgasm. I wasnt completly correct, The Tea Party broke up last October, but it was Jeff Martin who was the lead singer. I'd know his voice anywhere. I was very much in love with The Tea Party when I was in highschool, so I was sad finding out they broke up, but Jeff's set was really good. I didnt know any of the songs he (and his band) played, as they were all from his new album, but the music was great and his voice is arousing (listen to the song Temptation, mmm).

Then Live came out, and I cannot properly describe the awesome show they put on. I can honestly say that every second song they played we knew and could sing along to. Even their new stuff that they were playing was very easy to get in to, and the two of us were standing there dancing away. Im sure the people around us hated us, but that's too bad for them (poor Katie Holmes). Half of the fun was watching the band and being able to tell that they were having a great time performing. The lead guitarist was a stage show in and of himself. He was easily the most enthusiastic person in the entire building, and it wouldnt have surprised either of us had he sprained his ankle or something. It was kind of comical, actually. Although, not quite as comical as the girls who were standing near the top of the lower bowl just givin 'er. I dont mean regular givin 'er, I mean givin 'er. So much to the point that before the show was over the lead singer was joking about crazy they were.

Speaking of the lead singer, oh my he was one fine piece of ass. He originally came out wearing a shirt that he took off to reveal a charcoal grey wife-beater, and that was, believe me, very nice. As the show progressed we could see the sweat pouring off of him and, of course, off came the wife-beater. I think, at that moment, Corrine and I had simultaneous orgasms. Im not one for rippled male bodies (I prefer a bit of squish), but ohmagosh he was fantastic, and not too rippled. There was a slight squish. Katie Holmes' head blocked me from viewing him put his hand in his pants all sexual-like, but I can only imagine. In fact, Im imagining it right now. Mmmm.... So yes, as you can tell, the concert was worth every bit of the $50 we paid for the tickets.

After the concert we went back to our rooms and went to bed and slept for about four hours before we had to get up again to drive home. We left the city at 5:15am, and I was in my driveway at half past ten. We stopped to eat for fifteen minutes, stopped to pee for five, and then stopped at Steve's for about ten so Corrine could get ready for work and I could put my stuff in Steve's car so he could drive me home. We obviously made awesome time driving home. And that was it. Obviously there are things that Im forgetting, and things that I cant be bothered explaining (like "Katie Holmes", or "Mom, Im at that place and had to call"). But the trip was fan-fucking-tastic.

Tonight Im just going to chill (which is hard considering it is 27ºC outside). Tomorrow is lobster at my aunt's house with all of the Ontario crew. Wednesday Kim and I are going to the movies. Thursday is Janice's Fantasia party. I've decided that Im not going to the pub crawl on Friday (for a few reasons, namely I have work at 7am Saturday), so I might get to chill again then. Maybe. Im sure I'll find something to do then too. Okay, I think this is long enough.

So tonight I packed. You might be wondering why I need to bring a quarter of my wardrobe with me just for a two night trip. Well, to be quite honest, I have no idea what outfits I plan on wearing throughout the trip other than what Im wearing for the drive up, and a girl needs choices. That, and what happens if I spill something? One must always prepare for catastrophe!

Tomorrow morning I get up at five and get the rest of my shit together and then go to work. I leave work and, save for taking my car home, get directly on the road. This is a four to five hour trip, and I plan to take as many photos as I can (I bought two packages of batteries!). See you Monday!

Yes.

Best phone call I've gotten in a while started with "Guess who's fat head I saw in his uniform at Footlocker?", and no it wasnt at work. It just confirmed the theory that Susan had emailed me about earlier in the week. Now, at least, there's no surprises.

The Ontario crew is coming home early next week. Not to stay with us, but there will be family events nonetheless. The lobster get together is scheduled for Thursday night, which is also the same night that Janice scheduled her Fantasia party and Im all conflicted! I know that I have to go to Janice's (plus the thought of a sex toy party makes me all fuzzy inside), but I do so enjoy getting elbow-deep into lobster guts with the rest of my (quite large) family. *sigh* I suppose I can eat lobster at my kitchen table alone, it wont kill me.

Kim, if you want to get together next week Im free Tuesday and Wednesday. If that's not good for you, just let me know, my schedule only varies by half an hour, and that's rare, but I know that you might have to work later some nights.

I need to remember to pick up batteries for my camera tomorrow. Oh I so cant wait until I can get my nails done, they're driving me batty.

Tuesday night, save for an hour, I slept from the time I got home from work until I had to get up for work yesterday. This means that I went a good twenty-four hours without eating anything, and if you want to be technical, I threw up the only thing I ate on Tuesday. On my way to work yesterday I stopped at Tim Horton's and got a bowl of soup (I was surprised they even had soup to serve at 6:15am) and forced that down. Face it, the thought of having no appetite, or not being able to eat is attractive to me, but I know that it is in no way healthy so I eat when I should. The soup was good, and by mid-morning my stomach had settled, and then throughout the day I gradually came back to what I normally am. Debbie, that sits next to me, was sick yesteray like I was on Tuesday, so there must have been something going around.

Naturally, yesterday, because my stomach was settled, I had a toothache. Well, not so much an ache as an irritation. It felt like I had something stuck between my teeth, when I didnt, but today that seems to be gone away.

Yesterday was my mother's birthday. She's 51 in case you're interested. My mother's favorite way to decorate a cake is with Cool Whip and strawberries, so I picked those things up on my way home from work to decorate the cake that my brother had baked. We didnt think this through very well because if we had, he would have picked up the Cool Whip earlier so that it would be that it might have been thawed. So no, we had a tub of frozen whipped topping and strawberries and cake. Brother comes up with the brilliant idea that he needs to run back to the store and buy cream to whip. I swear, if you expect the two of us to get anything accomplished together, you'd be better off with untrained baboons. I dont know if it was the humidity, or the humidity combined with the fact that the oven had been going most of the afternoon, but the cream did not whip properly (it was lumpy), and it wouldnt stick to the cake. I had never heard of whipped cream not sticking. Even after we put the whole thing in the fridge to let it cool (and harden) it was no better. Our cake looked like a toddler decorated it, and consider the fact that Im 25 and he has his cooking papers it was quite the catastrophe. But we ate it nonetheless.

I went to bed at half past eight last night because I really want to get in the habit of going to sleep at a half decent hour so Im not struggling out of bed in the morning. As I tossed and turned (a combination of the humidity and the twelve hours of sleep I got the night before) I realized that the Live concert is only three days away. Three days! I am going on a roadtrip in two days and I am totally unprepared. I have no idea where our single air mattress is, and I have no idea what to pack, and oh my goodness Im going on a roadtrip in two days and Im totally unprepared! Eek

Im sick and I've been sick all day. Im weak and lightheaded and sick to my stomach. People at work were looking at me and telling me I was white as a ghost. At work I could hardly keep my eyes open, I was that tired. I ate half of a cinnamon roll at 7am and was too sick to eat anything since. Even when I tried drinking orange juice I would feel sick after a couple of sips. I actually threw up at 3pm, and I started feeling better, but then driving in to get Mom something for her birthday (that's tomorrow) I started feeling gross again. When I came home I went to bed, where I've been for the last three hours or so. I dont like this at all. I never get sick like this, never ever to the point where I actually throw up. If I dont get through tomorrow I may have to go to the ER.

In a week from now we'll be on our way to Halifax to see Live in concert. Corrine came up with the brilliant idea of renting a room at one of the universities, rather than a hotel room because it would be much cheaper. This means that if you include what we'll be paying for gas, what we've already paid for the tickets, and account for food, we'll be going on a weekend road trip for under $200 each. I think this is pretty damn classy if you ask me. We probably wont be making it to Halifax to do any shopping, which is alright with me (taking me shopping is dangerous to my bank account). Its not like we'd have nothing else to do. The really fun part is getting up at dawn (or earlier) on Monday morning to drive home after being at the concert the night before. I must remember to get batteries for my camera, not for the concert, but for the trip in general.

I have this habit on Saturdays of picking up breakfast at McDonald's on my way to work. Today when waiting in the drive thru, I noticed that they had switched their Happy Meal toys from Cars to Pirates of the Carribbean: Dead Man's Chest which made me excited (even if the movie isnt all that great, I will probably still have an orgasm while watching it). When I finally got to open the bag and see what I got, it was not the stuffed Captain Jack Sparrow that was shown on the poster, but a plastic skull with eyepatch and bandana. I was a tad disappointed so I put the toy away until I ate my food (breakfast burrito meal in case you were wondering). So I finished my breakfast and took to inspecting my prize a little further and when I looked at the instructions it was shown to me that my skull is a magic 8 ball. A magic fricken eight ball! Im a geek, but Im happy :D I also now need to collect all the toys in the series because they come with little map pieces which I suppose would win me a big prize.

In other news, to get over Thursday's bout of depression (which ice cream did not cure, it must have been faulty ice cream), yesterday during my lunch I decided to blow over to the Dollarama to kill time. I bought flip flops. For a dollar. I need to be stopped. I have pairs of flip flops that I have yet to even wear. In my own defense though, these ones are lime green, and until yesterday I was not in posession of lime green flip flops. And did I mention they were only a dollar? See, I can justify it.

I love You Tube.

Im a mess and I dont know why. I got upset when I put food out for the dogs and they didnt eat. I was reduced to tears whey they didnt put gas in my car after using it to go for groceries. I just... I... I dont know why Im so sensitive today. Its not like its the weekend and Im stuck in with nothing to do. And its not like Im all "woe is me Im single" because I can do single quite well. *sigh* I'll guess I'll just chalk it up to being one of those days.

I think its the overcast weather making me feel gross. Weather does that to me, unless its sunny out I end up feeling like crap. I feel sluggish and tired and I have no energy for anything other than sleep. But, I cant sleep yet as its only five in the afternoon and I would be really frigged when it came to bedtime later. I would like exercise, but exercising alone is no fun. I think Im going to shower and see if that makes me feel better.

North Korea is firing missles.

So, yesterday, I got the day off of work (making that a four day weekend) and I actually took advantage of it. I went to the beach! Janice got the day off of work too and stopped at the house to drop my brother's scissors off, and we got to chatting. She mentioned how she was dying to go swimming but neither one of us had a pool at ready access, and there are no beaches in the immediate area that are safe to swim at (mmm ecoli!). Obviously this would pose a problem, but as luck would have it we live on an island, so water is hardly ever far away. We (and by this time includes Alex in our car, and Janice's mother-in-law and her granddaughter in another car) drove to a beach about an hour away and spent the afternoon there. If you were wondering if I did any swimming, the answer would be no. I got into the water up to my knees, but the water was so cold my ankles went numb so I decided that getting some sun would be a better way to spend my afternoon. I did end up with a slight sunburn on my back and shoulders but nothing that I cant handle. The kids had a great time playing in the water and the sand, and that made the drive out there worthwhile.

My brother, on the other hand, spent yesterday afternoon getting a tattoo. Yes, my mother knows (now). No, he still hasnt gotten me anything for my birthday. Anyway, he went to the new shop that opened up in this area, which I was leary about going to only because he's new and not well established, but I was assured that the artist has his papers, and the health inspector was leaving just as Paul was getting there (so we can safely assume he's clean). Paul told me that he was watching what the guy was doing and he was very careful and very clean. I must say, the kid's tattoo came out well too. He got a blue rose on his right leg (the side of his shin) and it looks really nice. It didnt cost him all that much, and it saved him an hour drive (with gas at $1.16/L!). I believe I'll be going to this new artist for my next tattoo, which I have picked out already, and plan to get next month some time.

I've tried multiple times to sit and type something that didnt sound forced, but, well, its just not flowing freely at the moment.

Perhaps a topic could be suggested?

Take today to remember what is great about this country.