OoOoOoO!

The frusterating thing about not having internet access during the day is that when I come home it literally takes me hours to catch up on the reading I have gotten used to doing throughout the day. Between all of the webcomics, blogs, and news stories, Im guaranteed a two hour sit, sometimes more. Right now I have just read through my entire Live Journal friend's list, and now have to look forward to nineteen other blogs that have updated since last night. I havent read through my comics yet, and it could take me an hour to catch up on the news at Fark. I havent read anything on Slate or CNN in weeks now. Im to the point where Im so busy getting through blogs, I dont comment on anyone's posts because I simply dont have the time. We shall see what kind of access I have on the computers upstairs once I go back on the phone. Maybe I'll actually have a chance to post here by then. Naturally when Im full of ideas, I dont have the time.

I really dont know if I can describe tonight in all its glory, or at least describe it in a way that will make you feel as if you were there with us. It was fun, and odd, and random all at the same time. There was wings, and ice cream, and condoms. And I got to meet Andrew, who is Steve's friend, and also the other best friend of the last guy I dated. Tell me that wasnt slightly awkward. Well, it was for me, a little. Especially when Corrine and Steve left us alone in Steve's back yard. Which is the woods. Did I mention there was no lights on? That was very awkward, and I think he sensed that. We talked about the movie Snakes on a Plane and how I did not see it yet but wanted to. He suggested going with him and Corrine and Steve, but I pointed out how Corrine was leaving, and he suggested me going with him and Steve. I have a sinking feeling THAT would not be happening. Talk about weird (not them, the situation). Did I mention they built a catapult? I did not get a demonstration, but Andrew was all to eager to give a full explanation about how it worked.

That was after we had driven around the local Native Reservation to see the scenery, which happened after we did shots in town all the while listening to bad music from six and seven years ago (do you remember The Bloodhound Gang?). Of course, before that the four of us were at DQ eating ice cream, and making a scene (is that really a surprise?). But, the evening began at Pick A Pig for wings where Corrine and I embarassed ourselves by going to the washroom and buying a condom from the vending machine. In front of a girl of about ten. Who then went to the machine and examined it with great interest. This is the kind of people we are. I cant wait to go and visit her where we can make asses of ourselves in a different city!

It had to happen sooner or later. I hardly ever approve of photos taken of me (we've been through this before), BUT I kind of like this shot. Im allowed.

The rest of today's shots can be viewed starting here.

I went to bed with the spins, and I woke up with the spins... at 9am. I refused to get out of bed still spinning, so now its 4pm and I have not been out of bed yet. At least there's no headache or spins going on. My mouth feels yucky, but I have not had any food or drink, or even brushed my teeth as of this point. I can strongly see me back in bed sometime around 9pm. Trust me, it was all worth it.

If you're wondering how much I drank, I had 6 coolers. I normally cannot drink more than 4. I was seeing double halfway through the fourth one, but set a goal for myself to drink six. You know how you do those things while drunk? Anyway, by the time I finished drinking it wasnt safe for me to sit. As long as I was mobile, I was good. This was enforced by the guy that I knew who wouldnt leave us/me alone. He was determined to get me to dance with him. Now, I had good reason, going off to dance with him would have left Kimberly alone, and even if the guy was someone I wanted to get with, I wouldnt have done that. Unfortunately he obviously didnt get any hints. Kim even flat out told him that he was not getting in my pants, which didnt deter him. Anytime we stopped somewhere within the bar, he was right next to me, so we kept mobile, just to lose him. It got to the point where, if he would come over to us, we'd leave. It kind of sucked that we didnt get to enjoy the band's last set as much as we should have, but they were fantastic nonetheless. Id really like to see them again, hopefully without any annoying people.

I think I need to go lay down again.

Kim todl me to make a drunjk post but im too hammered and i aws just locked out of my house so Im too upset so Ij going to vedb and this is all yer getting until tororrowl

I switched to the new Beta version of Blogger. Its meh. There's nothing new about it that really turns my crank. I have no desire to make this blog permission only any time soon (like LJ "friends only").

Despite not learning anything new in training (its been just a refresher so far), Im having a great time. I really, really like the people that I work with.

I was looking at the website of the artist who did my last tattoo, and he tattooed the same design on someone else, in the same spot but different colours, after mine. I was the first and it makes me smirk :)

Tomorrow, Kimberly and I are going out to see Rock Ranger and get drunk. If I get to make out with a boy it will be a bonus. (Possible drunk post to follow)

In case you havent noticed, I tend to post more when Im not all angsty and depressed. Its not that I feel the need to hide anything, because if anything, I do all my hiding in person (Im very good at pretending everything is a-okay). I just wanted to explain that Im battling a lot of demons right now (new and old). My self-esteem issues with my physical appearance have reared its ugly head again. When I look in the mirror Im repulsed by what stares back at me. Its no wonder I always attract guys who are on the rebound, or have otherwise low self esteem, Im not the girl that gets noticed from across the room, and most days I wish I was.

I do not have a good home life, and never have. Growing up here was not exactly happy, and getting older just gives me the maturity to open my eyes and see the situation for what it is, and always was. This is a very difficult thing for me to deal with. Even more difficult, is the realization last night that I am, indeed a failure. YouTube helps me forget this stuff for a little while though.

Im debating switching to the new beta version of Blogger. I cant change it back if I dont like it. Change makes me nervous.

I just learned that my stat counter has integrated with Google Maps. Now I dont have to manually look up where you people are viewing from, its right there. This pacifies me for now.

Saturday was a waste.

Sunday was a waste except for going for ice cream with Corrine.

I ate supper today and I feel guilty for it. And Im upset with myself that I feel guilty for eating, not overeating, just eating.

Cramps woke me up at 4am. Cramps so bad I thought my uterus was going to fall out of my body. I was awake for an hour. That's one of the reasons that Im cranky.

I came to work today only to be told that I have to take calls on my "old" contract for the day instead of finishing up my work on the other contract. This is reason two why Im cranky.

The upside to this is that as of Monday, Im no longer forced to deal with any of this bullshit. The move is for certain. Training starts on Monday and will go for two weeks.

Tonight my mother is sleeping at my aunt's cabin with the rest of the girls, so I'll be having a mini-vacation. I plan on going nowhere, and talking to nobody. Oh, and to tackle the housework that Im unable to get done while Im waiting on her hand and foot.

Tomorrow I'll take photos of the cabin.

PS. This is an interesting concept.

So, Monday was a day of ups and downs. I had not heard since Saturday to confirm my appointment, so that was up in the air. Nonetheless, I picked Kim up at the scheduled time with the intention of going to Tim Hortons and chilling while trying to reach him on my cell phone. I tried to use my cell phone from Kim's driveway, only to realize the battery was dead, so we took Kim's mom's phone (much love to Darlene). Anyway, we chill at Tim's until about a quarter past two, having a great time catching up, but I still had not gotten a hold of him. Into my car we go to drive around the block and I finally get through and talk to his girlfriend who tells me to call back in an hour. No problem. How can we fill time? By going to Wal*Mart of course!

We have a new Wal*Mart, one that I had not actually walked through, just into the pharmacy and back out again. So Kim and I wander around Wal*Mart for quite a while, and then head down to Penningtons to poke around. Surprisingly neither one of us actually bought anything. We deserve prises for this. Anyway, after Penningtons, I get through to his girlfriend again who tells me to call back after supper. No problem. We head back into town and decide to stop at Corrine's to check the status of her foot, and pick up my stuff from American Eagle.

I'll explain about the AE stuff first. A couple of weeks ago Corrine asked me if there was anything that I wanted at AE because she was going to order a shirt, and what's the point in ordering just one thing. So I look at the clearance site and find a cute halter top in my size, and I find a cute skirt also in my size. The order goes in, which at this point had also accumulated a pair of jeans for her. A few days later I was poking about on the site agian and checked out the stuff I was getting, and read the details about my skirt a little bit closer. I had originally noticed where it said the skirt was 13.5 inches long. I kinda panicked when I realized, ohmigosh, this thing might not cover my arse. The suspense! Dont worry though, it covers me, and its really cute too. Not something appropriate for work... but cute.

Now, to give a little story on what was wrong with Corrine, basically she scratched her foot open and it got infected. Really infected. Swollen up her leg infected. Huge day-glo green blister on her foot infected. Between her not being able to walk, plus taking reactions to two medications (in the same family, but two meds nonetheless), she was certainly having a rough go of 'er. So we stayed and visited for a little while before I dropped Kim off and went home to throw supper together.

Just before I ate, I called his house one more time and finally got to talk to him. He told me to come over at about 7:30pm. I called Kim right away to see if she was still able to come with me, because I knew she had plans with her boyfriend in the evening, and it turned out that by the time we'd be finished it would be too late for her to really see him so she opted out of coming with me. I completely understood, and it worked out anyway because after I ate I was online chatting and offered for Amanda to come with me, and because she's into that stuff too, she was all too happy to come.

So we get there for 7:30pm and he and I spend a few minutes discussing what I want before he sets up and we get started. I expected it to hurt a lot more than it did, since it hurt like motherfucker the last time, but after the first fifteen minutes or so the pain was manageable. The whole time I kept thinking, "Okay, when he's finished I have to ask him about what Kim wanted", basically to keep my mind off of the pain. Guess what I forgot to do? I still feel like shit over it too, but in my own defense, my mother called halfway through to inform me that I had a curfew because I had her car and my father was basically too lazy to change the flat on mine to take it to work. This pissed me off more than I can actually explain, because I hardly ever go anywhere or do anything, and the one time I do she's calling me like that. Plus, its rather embarassing to have a mother who's that inconsiderate.

Anyway, it only took him until just past 9pm, which was probably barely an hour, and only cost me $50 (!!!). Its my favorite so far, he did exactly what I wanted and I would go back to him for more in a heartbeat. You want to see photos.





For reference, here's a link to the image I used.

Who would actually find this attractive?

I think its hideous. I seriously think its hideous. But, look how long my hair has grown.

Im very excited, but Im not spilling the beans yet. Kim, its that thing I emailed you about. Its going to happen Monday, probably in the early afternoon. Await photo evidence.

Can you spot the five things wrong with this outfit?

So I finally got rid of those ugly tangerine coloured panels from my hair. You know, the ones that were put there in June that were supposed to be caramel. Finally they're gone and my hair is now a really pretty mahogany colour. Im satisfied.

Enough about my appearance. This evening I picked Corrine up and we went to eat where I was snubbed, SNUBBED at Pizza Delight, and it amused me a great deal. I love being the adult in those situations. I even said hi to her husband after she turned her head, my mother would be proud. Anyway, after that we went in to the bridal shop so Corrine could try her dress on for me (well, its not her dress yet, but its probably going to be). The main road was blocked off, so we had to park like two blocks away and hoof it, which burned some of the calories we ate at PD (I was bloated on the two glasses of pop I drank). The dress is beautiful, simply beautiful. Not too over the top, but just the style that I adore. With the right jewellery and veil it will be breathtaking. Then we made fun of bridesmaid's dresses.

Oh, and we also went to Wal*Mart (the far one, not the new one) and made fun of other shoppers with a Wal*Mart associate. To be fair though, she started it. "They're crawling around on the floor!" Good times.

Work is good, really good. I dont have much to say about it yet, but things could turn out very well in my favor soon.

Tomorrow Rin and Amanda and I are going in to see the dress Rin might purchase for her wedding. Clothes make me excited! Speaking of which, Friday is payday, a full eighty hour pay at $11/hr. Im all aquiver.

It is safe to say that I am still feeling the effects of the alcohol that I had throughout the afternoon. We didnt go out the country like we usually do on Sundays, my aunt Maria* rented a bungalow that's on the same road as Kim's doctor, or about ten minutes from where Steve lives. It wasnt even the entire crew that went. The group of us consisted of: myself, my mom and my brother, Maria and Beth, Flora and Mockey, and my uncle Billy and his wife Darlene (aka Uncle Dar Dar between myself and my brother). Then Darlene got called to work (she's management at the casino) so she and Billy left. We had a good afternoon sitting around the screened deck on the bungalow playing cards. First we played a game of Texas Hold'em poker (our game of choice), in which I had to fill in Darlene's hand when they left. I ended up getting right to the end with Maria, when I usually am the first one out. After that we played a couple of hands of Bang (a game I cant be bothered explaining), one of which I won, before Paul and Beth and I went to KFC to order supper.

Now, up until this point I was after drinking three coolers. Three entire coolers (its not unusual for me to leave the bottom inch of alcohol in the bottle when it gets warm), so it is safe to say that I was hammered. I wasnt the only one drinking, Beth was after having five beer, and nobody keeps count on how many Maria has. Anyway, Paul hauled us to KFC, and he and Beth both went to the bathroom straight away, leaving me to order. Luckily, my mother had written a list of what we wanted, so I handed it to the girl to process. So Im after starting to explain it to her a little when the other two come back and I run to go pee. When I got back the girl was after frigging up our order because she had more eyeliner on her face than brain matter in her head. Im not exaggerating when I say it took us another ten or more minutes to explain to her what we wanted. I almost had to go and wait in the car because I was on the cusp of becomming belligerent with her (I obviously get ballsy when Im drunk), but eventually we got our food and went back to the bungalow and finished off the evening (and my other cooler). I cant wait until next week when I can get drunk again, with more family!

*I probably shouldnt have to specify that these people are all on my mother's side. My father's side is currently having nothing to do with us, through no fault of our own. To be quite honest, Im quite satisfied to wash my hands of the lot of them, and if you knew my history with them, you'd fully understand why that would be their loss, and not mine at all.

Despite being a wonderful person, I admit, Im not perfect. I criticize people. Frequently, but for good reason. There are some people who should not be allowed to dress themselves. I've compiled a list of the just a few of the most common offenders. Please dont fall under one of these categories.

• Dress appropriately for your age. I dont care if you're a size 4 when you're 50 years old. Unless you work out constantly every day and have a rock hard body, you've gotten squishy and nobody wants to see you in your bikini or belly shirt. Also, if you remember the first time that trend was popular, and it was before your kids were born, you have no right to partake in it the second time around. Pass it on to the next generation, you look foolish.
• Dress appropriately for your size. If you should be wearing an XL but are still trying to squeeze yourself into a M, stop it. If you would just wear the damn XL you wouldnt look so revolting. If you have a belly, do not wear short tops. Trust me, we do not want to see that much skin. If you have a belly and plan to wear something tight, please, please, suck in. Your abs look like that because you do not exercise them. If you're squeezing your rolls into a regular size XL, and you should be shopping in a plus size store, shop in the plus size store. There is nothing wrong with being big if you dress yourself accordingly. Dressing in clothes that are too small just tell us you have no sense of style. The reverse is true about wearing clothes that are too big.
• Wear a bra that fits and provides proper support. You may say that is easier said than done when you have small breasts, true. But there is no excuse to be bubbling over the top of your brassier, or having your breasts hanging down by your belly button. Go to a dress shop and have them fit you properly for a bra, and spend the extra money. Your breasts will thank you.
• Hide your bra straps. Bras come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and styles, take advantage of this. Do not wear a regular bra if you plan on wearing a t-back, halter, or bandeau top, it looks stupid (this can be forgiven if you are wearing said combo under a sweater). Do not wear a bra with straps that are wider than that of your tanktop. If you are going to wear a spaghetti strap tanktop, match your bra either to your skintone, or the color of the shirt. They do sell bras with clear straps, and bras with no straps at all. Please go to WalMart and spend $10 to not look silly.
• Do not wear long socks with shorts. This one applies to guys especially. Shorts look best with sandals, end of story. If you are not partial to sandals, sneakers may be worn with low socks only. They do make those for guys, trust me. Please, do not wear socks all the way up your shins if you are going to wear shorts. If your legs need to be covered, that is what full pants are for.
• Socks with sandals are never okay. NO! BAD! This makes me want to throw rocks at the offending individual. Just talking about it makes me shudder.
• Crocs. This is probably the biggest offender. If you wear Crocs that do not match your outfit, take them off and wear different shoes. Do not wear yellow Crocs with a fuscia tshirt. Do not wear lime green Crocs with a blue tshirt. Do not wear Crocs that do not match what you are wearing. There is a reason I own 18 pairs of flip flops, and it is so that my shoes will wear the rest of my clothes. Besides the fact that Crocs are big and gaudy anyway, there's no need to make yourself look like a clown by mismatching them with the rest of your clothes. Also, if you wear socks with your Crocs, I may or may not be able to resist the urge to stab you.

There. Now, please, get up and look in the mirror. If you currently fall under one of the above descriptions, please change.

John Tucker Must Die was a very amusing movie.

I believe its safe to say I looked somewhat smokin hot tonight. Whether or not The Boy thought I looked smokin hot is irrelevant, the fact that the first time we saw each other after we broke up I looked great is enough to make me happy. It was a tad awkward, but since we're still friendly toward each other it wasnt that bad. Nonetheless, I looked good*, and in turn felt good about myself.

*You have to know by now, looking good = looking thin(ish). Judging me will not change that. I have always been this way, its only now that Im talking about it.

I've noticed lately that I get much more satisfaction out of purchasing clothes than I do food. There was once a time that I would plan my free money around where I was going out to eat at over the next two weeks. I dont find myself doing that anymore, not since I've become a clotheswhore. And its not that Im going out and spending a whole lot of money or anything (if I have to pay more than $20 for an item it makes my heart hurt), I've just become even more obsessed with my appearance than I used to be. Although, when one finds a tshirt that says "blondes have more fun, brunettes can read", who could actually leave that on the shelf?

I did splurge on myself yesterday, though. I spent $27 on a compact. Yes, $27 on a single compact at Faces. No, I am not insane. I just have sensitive, oily skin that is prone to breakouts (so I needed something to cover blemishes), and the people at the makeup counter at the Bay were kind of dumb less than helpful the last time I shopped there. Even at the Bay I would have spent that much.