Im currently on day seven of bleeding. Never again am I going to complain about my period.
I was doing okay for a few days, but yesterday and today I've been taking it really hard. I guess the realization that Im not having a baby has finally set in, and its heartbreaking. I dont want to not have a baby, I dont want to not be pregnant. Yesterday, I just spent the morning sobbing to the point where I exhausted myself for the rest of the day. Its one of those things, where really, if you've never had it happen to you, you wont really understand.
But, on the upside, the support that I've gotten from people has been overwhelming. My girls were right there immediately, and I've been getting messages and comments and stuff from a lot of people, some who I never would have expected. Its somewhat overwhelming, but it eases things a little.
I saw my pre-natal doctor yesterday for the last time. She told me that she suggests waiting three full menstrual cycles before starting to try again. Assuming that my cycles are going to start immediately when this is finished, it still means that we wont be able to start trying again before September. Its only May!
*sigh*
I suppose I could look at it on the bright side, if I go to any get togethers all summer, I can have a drink, or if there's anyone good bar shows, I can go and enjoy myself, and I wont be big and pregnant during the hottest days of the summer. But, when all is said and done, I'd still rather be pregnant.
{Friday, May 16}
Keep breathing, just keep breathing.
