{Saturday, March 29}
And they say Im not graceful.
Oh fun, now Im accident prone? Yesterday afternoon when I was going with Corrine to pack stuff up at her mother's house I slammed my pinkie finger in the door as I was running out. Then just before, when I was heading upstairs to make toast, I tripped on my slipper or something and I fell up the stairs, landing hard on my right shin and now I have an awesome new lump there. I bet by tomorrow it'll be some fun new colors!
{Monday, March 17}
So, crying is fun, I guess.
At about 5:00am tomorrow morning, my mother and I will be making the five hour trek so that she can get tests done to check for a blockage in her heart. Tomorrow afternoon is the pre-test thinger, the actual test isnt until 6:30am Wednesday morning. If they find a blockage, they're going to see if they can repair it then and there. I guess if they find something they cant repair right away they'll have to schedule actual surgery I think. Hopefully it wont get to that point, but either way. I'll be stuck in a hospital waiting room five hours from home, alone, and all the worst case scenarios are running through my head making me a wreck. I was doing fine until today, but I suppose it had to hit me at some point. And of course its going to hit me in a way that makes every other little thing that I've been worrying about come up and smack me in the face. I can see fighting with my boyfriend over something that, if I wasnt going away, would be a non issue, but because Im already stressed Im going to make a mountain out of a molehill and start a fight about it. Then again, we haveng fought in a couple of weeks so maybe we're due. Normally I'd be happy about going to the city, but I just cant wait to come home on Thursday.
Im not as strong as I pretend sometimes.
Im not as strong as I pretend sometimes.
{Friday, March 7}
And I thought I had too much time on my hands.
So some guy made music using only sounds from Windows 98 and Windows XP, and it sounds pretty neat. Watch.
Wow.
And, it would be a special kind of person to get aroused by a fetishised Nintendo character.
Wow.
And, it would be a special kind of person to get aroused by a fetishised Nintendo character.
{Thursday, March 6}
Fading everything to black and blue.
Its not like he couldnt have tried to get out of it so that he could be my emotional support tomorrow. But he didnt offer, and I shouldnt have to ask. Im worried enough as it is, I really dont need to be disappointed and frustrated on top of it, but whatever. Fighting about it isnt going to get me any further ahead, and I doubt it would even make a difference. Its not even like its something that we havent fought before, the last time we fought about it I surprised myself by telling him to go to hell. I just dont have the fight in me this time, which means that it'll happen again, and I'll be left feeling the same way. I need to go and just be depressed so that I can wake up and pretend that everything is okay.
{Monday, March 3}
The break in my routine does not bode well for anyone else.
The highlight of my day so far was the hospital waiting room. Sad? Perhaps, but it'll probably be the highlight of my week. Today it was going with my boyfriend while he had his bone scan done, tomorrow is taking my mother for her EKG, and Wednesday is taking my mother to the pain clinic. Although Im sure I can whine my way out of that one. I dont need another really early morning. Today was enough to fuck me up for the week.
So, anyway, today we sat down in the waiting room and he offered me a magazine. I spotted a National Geographic in the pile that he was searching through and asked him to hand me that one. Well, this one:
When he put it in my hands, I looked at the date on said magazine:
Yes, that says July 1982. I picked up a twenty-five year old magazine in a hospital that had only been open thirteen years. This amused me, as well as the few other people in the waiting room.
I only really got to read one article from it before we got to go home, which I was thankful for. He's sort of house sitting for his uncle, so we stayed there last night, meaning neither one of us got a whole lot of sleep before we had to get up for 7am to get ready to be at the hospital for 8:30. That was just for the shot of radioactive somethingorother that they gave him, then we had to wait around until lunch time before he actually had the scan done. In the meantime we went for breakfast, and bummed around the Wal*Mart. By the time we were heading home the two of us were cranky from just being tired (although his opinion on who I should and shouldnt Facestalk got under my skin, because one, it makes him a hypocrite, and two, its liable to cause a fight of a completely different caliber). I came home and tried to nap but failed, and my eating is all screwed up so that isnt helping. I couldnt move in my kitchen, so I couldnt cook supper and the dog was all irritable. I just want to sit down and cry at this point. Maybe sleeping will help.
So, anyway, today we sat down in the waiting room and he offered me a magazine. I spotted a National Geographic in the pile that he was searching through and asked him to hand me that one. Well, this one:
When he put it in my hands, I looked at the date on said magazine:
Yes, that says July 1982. I picked up a twenty-five year old magazine in a hospital that had only been open thirteen years. This amused me, as well as the few other people in the waiting room.
I only really got to read one article from it before we got to go home, which I was thankful for. He's sort of house sitting for his uncle, so we stayed there last night, meaning neither one of us got a whole lot of sleep before we had to get up for 7am to get ready to be at the hospital for 8:30. That was just for the shot of radioactive somethingorother that they gave him, then we had to wait around until lunch time before he actually had the scan done. In the meantime we went for breakfast, and bummed around the Wal*Mart. By the time we were heading home the two of us were cranky from just being tired (although his opinion on who I should and shouldnt Facestalk got under my skin, because one, it makes him a hypocrite, and two, its liable to cause a fight of a completely different caliber). I came home and tried to nap but failed, and my eating is all screwed up so that isnt helping. I couldnt move in my kitchen, so I couldnt cook supper and the dog was all irritable. I just want to sit down and cry at this point. Maybe sleeping will help.
