While, my Christmas season isnt over until after Boxing Day, I can gladly say I no longer have to eat turkey. Let me go on the record and say that turkey dinner is one of my least favorite meals. I can handle turkey on a hot sandwich or in soup or something, but I dont like just sitting and eating turkey. I've actually been known to sit down to turkey dinner and eat just veggies and stuffing. Regardless, you can imagine my excitement at having to eat two turkey dinners today. I didnt do too badly though, his mother's dinner was first, and I ate a decent portion of potatoes and carrots and a whole sweet potato, and a little bit of turkey. I made sure I didnt eat any dessert or anything afterwards so that I wouldnt be too full. Then we had about an hour break before dinner was served at my uncle's house, and for that dinner I had green beans, beets, cabbage, stuffing, and some turkey. The only thing I didnt finish was the stuffing, mostly because it was too dry. Tomorrow, rather than have more turkey we're having spaghetti and meatballs, which I dont like any more than I like turkey, but I dont have to cook it so I cant complain.

As for gifts, I got clothes from my mother, and jammies from my godmother (there's too many in my generation for them to purchase for anyone other than their godchildren). We dont talk to my father's family, so I dont expect anything from any of them. My brother got me a Corelle divided plate (inside joke), and a bunch of candles. Corrine had picked my name for Secret Santa and got me a pair of jammies, the ones Im wearing now actually. My boyfriend's mother got me a giant bag, which I could probably fit a weeks worth of clothes in, which is awesome.

Now, in the four years that he and I were together before, he didnt get me any jewelry. One time I asked for a silver bracelet for Valentine's Day and he flat out told me no (we wont touch Valentine's Day in this post), and I dont think I ever asked for jewellery again. There was a watch he bought me once, but I dont consider watches actually jewellery. There were no rings, earrings, bracelets, or pendants. So since August I've been flat out telling him that I wanted something sparkley for Christmas. Its not like I was asking him to spend a fortune, you can get really nice pieces for under a hundred dollars. Anywho, the other night we get together to exchange gifts and finish season two of Dexter. So he hands me my gift and I open the first part which was a pink cover for Wii controller number two, and I pull out the second part and I could tell by the shape of the box that it was a ring. I had a mild panic attack that he might be the diamond, but he knows better than to propose on a holiday, so I didnt figure that's what he was doing.

So I open the box and inside is a very pretty ring with my birthstone in the center and two little diamonds on each side. My big obstacle is that prior to the night he gave it to me, I hadnt had a ring on my finger since well over a decade, so I could only wear it a short while before I was fidgeting with it too much and had to take it off. I wore it the whole time I was out last night, and I didnt touch it all that much, today I wore it the whole day and was rather proud of myself for barely touching it. That is, until I looked at it before I went home and realized that my finger was green. I dreaded having to tell him because I knew how he'd react, and he was as upset as I thought he'd be, so now I feel bad about it even though I had no control over my finger turning green from wearing a ring that was real gold.

When I sit and think about it, part of me isnt all that surprised since my body is sensitive when it comes to jewellery anyway. I can only wear a curved bar in my navel or it will infect, but as soon as I take the hoop out it gets better. If I put a hoop in my lip it stays sore until I take it out and put the post back in. In my ears, I can only wear real metal or surgical steel piercing jewelry. I can wear costume jewellery for a short while, but my ears will infect if its left too long. Around my neck Im normally okay, but if I wear a chain thats not real metal and has been worn a few times already I've been known to break out on the back of my neck. Whether or not I actually have an allergy is not something I've ever been tested for, but if the ring that he gave me is going to turn me green I cant wear it, and while I feel bad about it, it might have to be returned. Maybe I just need a highter carat gold. We'll see what happens.

I only just found out that today is Humbug Day, and its rather fitting since I realized only today that Im spending a lot of my energy trying to stave off a bout of holiday depression. I hate the Christmas season in general mostly due to the pressure put on people to get the best gifts and whatnot. Combine this with being expected to have the house and baking done all by myself puts a lot on my shoulders. I mean, in some ways I dont mind it, but having a little help would be awesome. We spent the last week and a half getting the floors done, and nobody but me has made an attempt to put anything other than the large pieces of furniture away. Dont even get me started on decorating. Apparently someone has stolen all of our tree lights and decorations because I went looking for them in the only place we keep such things, and they're nowhere to be found, so I have a few decorations up in the house and a bare spruce tree sitting in a stand in the living room.

I only clued in today about what the main root of my severe insecurities this year, and I think I have to actually get past that point before I can be over it. I mean, its not that Im pining over anything, but its making me look at my current situation and combine the two, leaving me with this silent panic going on. I think its whats making me drive myself crazy sorting through old baggage to the point where I just sit and sob for no real reason other than stress. Im exhausting myself, and Im sure I'll burn out sometime soon.

For someone who doesnt have faith, its hard not to be amused when I read the description of my astrological sign and realize that it describes me perfectly. Im a stereotype, yay?

Greatest. website. ever!

Also, I think this must be sort of what its like to date me.

I have yet to decorate for Christmas, but Im perfectly alright with that. In fact, I have a perfectly good excuse, we're renovating. Well, we're just doing the floors over, but it means that we're left to pile all the furniture into one room at a time so there's no possible way to decorate with the house in an uproar. That's fine by me, I loathe Christmas anyway. What I am looking forward to is Marilou's wedding on Saturday. Im ushering it, which means that I have to look my most put together since I'll be the first thing people see when they walk into the church. Well, me and Corrine. She makes great choices, that Marilou. Anyway, so in the midst of renovating, Im also trying to get myself together for the wedding (hair, nails, outfit, etc), plus make myself available to help with any wedding related things. To say Im busy is an understatement. By the time Tuesday rolled around I was so burnt from dealing with all the renovation prep work I just sobbed my way through the afternoon. This was after I sobbed my way through Sunday night, besides fighting with him all weekend.

*sigh*

To make matters worse, the little brown monster was groomed yesterday so she's a bundle of nerves. Poor thing spent all of yesterday and half of today trying to sleep away her haircut, then finally was up and around when I forced her to go outside and pee. She spent two hours this afternoon curled up on my lap, which is probably two hours longer than she's ever spent curled up on my lap. Keep in mind she's eleven years old. Once the house is put back together she'll be fine Im sure. Well, once they get used to the new floors anyway.

So when he got his Wii, he borrowed Super Paper Mario from a friend of his, and he had finished it, and I was almost finished when this person asked for it back, so I got to keep the Wii for a couple of nights to finish the game. I finished it, and I was sad that it was over, BUT I had all his games so I started playing The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess because he owns it. I got to keep the Wii for a few more days and got pretty far into Zelda before he took the console back. I thought it was the cutest thing ever when I called him the other night and he was playing and he was stuck in a place that I had already passed in the game and he asked me for advice on how to advance. That moment was fleeting though, since pretty soon he'll have passed me in the game since Im too busy to be able to play.

As much as I love looking at sites like Cute Overload and ICHC, I loathe housecats. It hit me the other day when I was looking at pictures of someone's cats on Facebook. Like, Im sorry if you have cats, or are a cat lover, but the animals give me the skeevies. I really cant imagine having one of those creatures crawling around my house. *shudders* Lucky for me I have a severe allergy which I can use to cover up my intense fear. I dont know why Im talking about that, I think Im just killing time until my brother gets home to do my hair, which at this rate he'll be doing all night. At least this time we dont have to worry about getting color on the floor, since the rest of the tile will be getting covered up.

Oh, if you're looking for something catchy to listen to, I strongly suggest Paralyzed by The Used. It makes me want to dance.