My eczema is acting up and Im like a dog with fleas. My major issue is that I cut all my nails off (you would think that was silly) so Im constantly going around looking for something sharp with which to scratch myself with. My favorite is the cover from the battery part of the television remote, but I'll resort to anything really (scissors, combs, even bottle caps). Right now I may be bleeding, but the itch is temporarily gone. I think even the sound of the scraping against my skin is soothing, at least for a few minutes before the cycle starts all over again.

I didnt realize how drunk I was last night until I hit the peak of my hangover today. I started out alright, (I just didnt want to wake up), as usual my head was fine, and my stomach wasnt sick I was just sluggish overall. I went up and cooked myself my usual next day breakfast (fried eggs and bacon and chocolate milk), and somewhere along the way my muscles started aching and despite filling the tub after my shower and having a bath, I spent the rest of the afternoon and part of the evening feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I have no idea why my muscles hurt after drinking but every single time I spend the better part of the following day feeling like I've been run over. Combine that with the general crankiness and whining, and you can imagine how pleasant I was. Needless to say I stayed in my room for most of that.

I probably shouldnt complain about hangovers since I could have been vomiting or something, especially where I may be drinking again next weekend with highschool friends of his. I'd be okay with not not going out, but on the other hand I really want to see if I can manage to get myself hammered since I havent been that drunk in a very long time. I think the last I heard, plans were to start drinking at one girl's apartment and then move to the same bar we went to last night (you know, in case anyone is interested in stalking me), and I hope the band is just as mediocre. Although I doubt I could have as fun a time as I have with my girls, it would be interesting to see how he and I act at a bar this time around*. We shall see how that goes. And, if nothing transpires then the next time I drink is at the wedding and I dont think anybody is looking to get overly drunk, since we dont need alcohol to make fools out of ourselves. Nineteen days really isnt that far away.

*Yes I compare everything now to the same or similar scenarios from our previous relationship. Its how I can tell that he's not the same guy I dated then. In my head its what I need to do to keep myself from taking it for granted. I mean, its not like Im always holding things over his head, but I think he knows he'll always have to live up to what came before. Afterall, if you dont learn from the past it will only repeat itself, right?

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