its all a beautiful blur











{Saturday, June 16} I had valid reason to want to die, I swear.
It might indicate a problem when the girl wakes up after being sick in bed, unable to eat, for two whole days and her first thought isnt "Ew, when was the last time I brushed my teeth?", but in face "I wonder if I lost any weight?".

If there was a scale in this house I'd drive myself foolish.

Nonetheless, I think Im almost over the worst sickness I've had in ages. Wednesday morning I woke up at 8am sharp to powerpuke all of the undigested food in my stomach from the night before (food which should have long been digested, btw). I hardly ever vomit. Like, before Wednesday, I hadnt thrown up since December of 2006, and I cant recall vomiting prior to that since maybe May of 2004. Obviously something was wrong. It was bad. All of Wednesday was spent stuck in bed. I couldnt remain vertical for very long before getting dizzy, I had fever, and I couldnt eat or even drink anything without it very quickly exiting my body. My entire body was sore and I had a terrible headache on top of it.

Thursday, I still felt like ass, but not nearly as bad as the day before. I could at least get up and shower, and sit upstairs for a while with the dogs, and try some soup broth. I was still sick, but not as completely wasted as I was on Wednesday.

Today I woke up feeling better ...until I tried to eat half a sandwich, which kept my digestive system cursing me the entire day. Obviously Im not ready for food yet, but I was somewhat dehydrated so I had some Gatorade and fixed that. Im really hoping that tomorrow I'll be okay to shop in the afternoon and adventure in the evening. We shall see.


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its all a beautiful blur

I am a twenty-seven year old Canadian girl. This is my blog.

Skin and tragedy always attract a crowd. (June 18th, 1976 by Pedro the Lion)

I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
(Breathe (2am) by Anna Nalick)


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