We had our first major snowfall yesterday evening, to the tune of twenty-eight centimeters or something ridiculous like that. It can all go away now, Im sick of it. It is very safe to say that I hate snow. No I loathe snow. With a vengeance. Yes, yes, I know most people say that, but Im different. Since my car accident in May of 2004, I havent been okay with driving in weather. I can stay composed in rain, but snow, no with snow we have serious issues. Take last night for example, I had a panic attack the entire drive home. The drive which lasted almost an hour, rather than the fifteen to twenty minutes Im used to. I didnt cry, but I was so on edge and paranoid that the thought of making a turn, or going down a hill, or even hitting my brakes made me want to vomit all over the steering wheel. I walked into the house and looked at mom and told her that there's no way that I can go through that all winter. I just cant do it, the stress is way too much.

Today, going into work wasnt all that bad, and despite having my parent's car (with the studded tires) I was still shaky when I got to work. If there is any sort of snow covering the pavement, I just lose it. My boyfriend believes I have anxiety issues* and should probably see somebody, because its just not normal to be that afraid of driving in the snow. Im not going to see someone just because Im afraid of the snow, I'll just wait around until my brother is off of work and get a drive home with him. I think my plan will be to be living closer to work next winter. Closer, as in walking distance.

In other news, my girlie bits issue from the weekend segued right into my period, so by the time this is over it'll be a full week since I've had normal girlie bits. Im horny as hell. I dont even have to get off, I just want to fool around. And Im really in the mood to give head, I'd probably even let him cum in my mouth. Maybe. Then again, I usually get anxiety over that and make the guy cum somewhere else. Gagging and throwing up cum is not something I'd like to experience for a second time. Unfortunately it'll be no earlier than Friday before he and I can get it on, which is somewhat frustrating, but it will make so much more ooh la la when we finally get to do it. It makes me feel better knowing that he's seriously jonesing. It makes me feel wanted, like that urgent, "need you right this second" kind of wanting. He's beginning to think Im a nympho. I say what's wrong with a girl liking, and wanting sex? Nothing, that's right.

I just lost my train of thought, so Im going to bed.



*As someone who's been clinically diagnosed with both an anxiety disorder, and OCD, he sees both in me. The anxiety part I tend to keep to myself, the OCD is hard for anyone who knows me to deny.

1 Comments:

 James said...

You actually raised eyebrows in a kinda shock with a certain part of that entry ..... and that very rarely happens on the internet.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006 9:34:00 p.m.  

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