You would think that I would simply adore having a guy who will spend ridiculous amounts of money on me, but I get rather frustrated. Today he bought me these sneakers since I had not gotten sneakers in over two years, and these shoes because I dont actually have nice dressy shoes to wear. This is besides buying all of my stuff at Wal*Mart and then buying us candy at the Bulk Barn, AND taking me and Corrine out for supper. Yes, I actually fight with him to not spend so much money on me. Yes, we've discussed it and he's not trying to buy my affection, but it seems like this is his way of providing and taking care of me, or at least that's how I came to understand it. This does not mean that I am at all comfortable with sending him to the poorhouse and will continue to argue that he does not need to purchase me things on a regular basis.

Funny story, today was the first time that I had shopped at Footlocker since I broke up with my ex (no, he no longer works there) and Frankie was talking to Laurie, who's worked there since long before my ex did, and knew him quite well. When we were going through the checkout she asked me if I had talked to my ex lately and I was honest and said that I havent talked to him since I broke up with him. What struck me was that she said "Yeah, I never understood why you were with him". I'll be honest, I had a wow reaction. We talked about him some more and how she thought he was an alright guy to hang out with, but a "pain in the ass to work with". Naturally, I wasnt shy about saying that he was a miserable boyfriend.

See, Frankie is constantly telling me that Im beautiful and hot and sexy and sweet and funny and smart and way too cute, and Im actually starting to believe it. The more I believe this stuff about myself, the more I realize that my exboyfriend is a miserable excuse for a human being and I was (and am) way too fucking good for the likes of him. I was the best thing that could have possibly happened to him and he abused it and pissed it away. His loss. Luckily, I have found someone who appreciates and respects me, and, because I was treated so badly before its not something I will take for granted. He's amazing...

*graphic*

...In the bedroom as well. Yes, yes I've been saying that for the past month, but I cannot believe how good it was the past two nights. It just seems to be getting better. I came six times last night. Six times! One of those times was literally one thrust in, and I was gone. I even said out loud "Ohmigod, I cant even last longer than ten seconds". This is only missionary position! Not that missionary is the only position we've done. We've also dabbled in me-on-top and doggy style, but missionary is still what does it for me. Normally, while Im being railed I touch and play with my breasts, tonight I even went so far as to stimulate my clit while he pounded away. Oh my effing wow. Its not that I've never done that before, but I've never done it missionary with anyone who wasnt too lazy to keep it up for more than five minutes before I'd have to get on top. Its difficult to stimulate your own clit while you're trying to leverage yourself AND concentrate on rhythm at the same time. Tonight though, man, I actually lost count how many times he got me off tonight. Okay, time for bed before I start getting all emo and mushy about him.

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