I cant sleep. I cant sleep because Im depressed. Im depressed because I went car shopping yesterday, with my mother. You see, you will not understand unless you actually know my mother well. My mother can be quite childish about certain things. Going places with her can cause you to spend a lot of time wishing and hoping that she doesnt throw a tantrum, I have no patience for tantrums. Anyway, back to car shopping. I had gone in by myself yesterday and went directly to the dealership I had worked with twice before, obviously they will want to keep customers like me. I had taken a 2002 Grand Am out for a test drive (two door, automatic, fully loaded) and liked it. They let me take it home for the afternoon to try it out and if I liked it, we would work out the financial details later that afternoon. How many dealerships let you do that? Anyway, it was in the driveway when my mother got home from work and she automatically sneered at it because it was a two door, and because it was an '02. I really didnt feel like fighting with her so I said fine, I'll take it back right now.

Because she wanted me to, I went to a different dealership to look at a 2005 Sunfire that she saw in a flyer and liked. They didnt have this on the lot. I told the salesman that I'd look at whatever he had in my price range. This is where she gets childish. Mom pipes up and says that she wont look at anything that doesnt have air conditioning in it. I try and stress that no, Im really not concerned about a/c, I just want a nice car that I can afford. She completely talks over me and goes on about the a/c, so then the salesman didnt even show me any cars that didnt have it. At this point, if I didnt desperately need a car, I would have just said fuck it and left.

I took out a few cars, the last of which was a 2005 Grand Am (four door, automatic, fully loaded) and it was a nice car, a little big, but a nice car. It feels very um, plush, like its something that's way out of my league. He asked me if I was willing to buy it, and I told him I'd buy it that day if he could meet my budget. They made me an offer that was really too good to pass up, and I decided that I'd take that car. I was still sitting in with the finance guy waiting to hear back from the bank when my mother comes in and informs me that we need to leave now because she has to get home and go to church. So I had to just up and leave. I still have no idea whether the bank approved me or not, I do know that the car hasnt been moved since I looked at it. I have to call at 9am to find out if its mine, then see if I can get in there before work. If they need me to bring in a paystub, I wont be able to get the car until Monday because I just wont have time to do it before my shift today. All in all, I feel very disgusted and deflated over the whole thing.

Today (Im still thinking along the lines that its Thursday) I was invited to go and see Scary Movie 4 with Kim, Angela, and Ryan and I had fun. I needed to get out, but I was not impressed that my body decided to get sick after the movie. Its weird that popcorn would do it, but I hadnt eaten anything else. I tried ignoring it, and wishing that it would stop, but even hours later I was still feeling horrible. Its embarassing, you know, being out and trying to have a great time and having to run to the bathroom every little while because you think you'll be ill. I started feeling a little better about 8pm, and decided to make supper in hopes that eating a meal would calm my stomach (it works if I get hungover). It settled my stomach as much as it was going to get, but I had chills since I walked into the house, so now I was dealing with that. I went to bed frozen, and woke up about an hour and a half ago in a sweat. Im still way too hot and cant get to sleep, and my stomach isnt feeling as good as it should.

I needed to make a long post. I actually feel a little better.

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