I actually had a breakdown today. I cant handle working on that contract anymore. Lately I've been forcing myself to actually get up and go to work, and then when Im there, I have to force myself to stay there. Today, after lunch, I was all worked up and every time the phone dinged in my ear I would have to calm myself down because I was almost crying sitting there. Yeah, awesome, eh. So when I took my break at 3:30pm I was actually shaking and I just couldnt sit there like that anymore so I got my supervisor to early me out.

I didnt leave right away, I went down to HR to see how to go about being moved to a different contract and she told me that I had to go through my supervisor first. My supervisor is Jeff, so that's going to get me nowhere, but I'll set up a meeting with him anyway. If he's useless, then I'll go to Bernie, and if Bernie is useless I'll go back to HR. If they refuse to help me then Im going to have to go to my doctor and get him to write me a letter forcing them to either move me or let me go on leave. I'll have no other choice. Like Jeannie said, when seasoned agents are having a hard time, they gotta do something.

But yeah, I cried the whole way home, and I know that if Jeff gives me any kind of hassle or bullshit I'll be crying at him too. That could work in my favor though, because I know that Jeff gets all out of gear when he's gotta deal with someone that upset.

Then again, Im off the next two days, and I might feel better going back in there on Saturday. Im not going to count on it, but you never know.

5 Comments:

 Marcus said...

I agree 100% percent with you. That is whay I left. I was getting moody, even at home I was in a mood a lot.. They have to do something there. Unless they so they will keep losing the good agents.....

Wednesday, September 21, 2005 6:50:00 p.m.  

 eye candy said...

Im not getting my hopes up though. Honestly, Im preparing myself to have to go on LOA.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005 7:00:00 p.m.  

 Marcus said...

LOL I hear yeah there... it used to be a nice spot to work.......

Wednesday, September 21, 2005 7:53:00 p.m.  

 furmommy said...

i was the exact same way before i went on leave. I just let it get so bad that i was off for a week straight because i put my back out just because i was so stressed. And thats when my migraines started too. Not to mention the nightmares. I would wake up screaming. Take care of it now before you really get sick. And i dont just mean panic attacks but physical problems.

But for jeff, definately tears will need to be involved. He will crumble like a cookie when there is tears.

Thursday, September 22, 2005 1:00:00 p.m.  

 eye candy said...

If I get nowhere by Tuesday, Im making an appointment with my doctor because at 24, I should not be in constant pain due to stress. Im also convinced that Im developing carpal tunnel in my right wrist. Again, that should not be happening to a 24 year old.

Thursday, September 22, 2005 5:17:00 p.m.  

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