So, the past two days I've dressed up for work, hair done and makeup and everything. I got tired of wearing jeans all the time, and, well, I feel good about myself. I feel good about myself. I think that Im attractive. I dont care to be overweight, but that isnt going to change overnight, and Im okay with that. I honestly dont think that I've felt this good about myself. Ever. I mean, there's times that I've been way depressed and hated myself, and there's been times that I thought I was alright, but now I can look in the mirror and think "Jenna, you've got it going on" and actually mean it. I used to be so self-consious about my weight that I wouldnt even think about being attracted to a thin guy, but now, honestly I can be okay with that. I like me.
I came home from work today and Mom said, with a smirk on her face, "and who are you trying to attract?" and I was honest when I said nobody. Im enjoying being single. Im enjoying becomming my own person again. Saturday night I had a blast just going out and looking attractive. I even feel more outgoing than I ever did before. I can honestly say that at this point in my life I am the happiest that I have been in a long time.
Janice told me that Mary was asking her how I was doing. I am doing great, really. Im having a blast. I know that its my fault Mary and I dont talk anymore, but I said what I said at a time when we werent talking and quite frankly I was frusterated and pissed off. But I have never deleted an entry from this blog, and I dont intend to start. We all have to live with what we do, and what we say. Although I do miss hanging out with her sometimes, she was as mean about people as I am.
I really hope that when I call my lawyer on Friday he'll have good news. I really want to start planning a trip to Halifax. I would love to go and shop, and go OUT drinking and make out with some boy who's name I dont know just to say that I did. Hell I'd probably make out with a girl if the opportunity arose. I've decided that this is the time where I can live my life to the fullest and have a BLAST! I mean, Im only 24, Im way too young to be tied down.
My new song on repeat seems lately to be She Is Beautiful by Andrew WK. Its how I feel about myself :)
EDIT: There are boys at work that I'd be lying if I didnt say I would make out with, but Im perfectly fine with just flirting. I like the attention :)
{Tuesday, August 16}
05.08.16
