its all a beautiful blur











{Monday, September 15}
What a week! In the past week I have had:
- my tongue (piercing) became a little infected
- a sinus cold which morphed into a head cold which morphed into a chest cold
- a yeast infection.

My body has been going through the most disgusting things all week I dont even want to describe it.

I didnt get my car loan. They said I havent been working at my job long enough. I've been there just about a year, they say I need to be there a year and a half. Im debating just going to a dealership and financing a car. I'd get a better car, and if it broke I could just bring it in to get fixed. I should talk to mom about it.

Im still not feeling well at all, this is the 4th day in a row that I've missed of work and I feel too tired to even be sitting here. Ugh, Im going back to bed. I may post later.


{Saturday, September 6}
I went to the bank to see about a loan. The loan officer (Joe) said he'd get back to me today about whether or not I was going to get it. He didnt get back to me today. Today being Friday I will have to wait until Monday to hear back. This is going to be one long weekend.

I got a haircut. I've never had my hair this short in my entire 22 year existance. Well, maybe in the first year or so it was this short, but that's beside the point. I've always had long hair. I like long hair but my hair gets too fluffy because its so thick. Everyone always says that my hair looks "so nice". I hate it most of the time. I suppose thats normal. I have to deal with my hair, spending half an hour to "do" it just so it can be messed up by rolling around in bed for a little while. I like my hair this short though. Im hoping that it wont take half an hour to "do" when I finally get a chance to "do" it. Its really easy now, which I like. Easy is good. Easy has no stress attached to it. No stress is GREAT!

Speaking of stress, Boyfriend is still going away next weekend. I still dont want him to go. I cant put my finger on it but I've got a nagging feeling about it that just wont go away. No point in trying to talk him out of going either. He's gonna go no matter what I say, think, or feel about it. I know who he's going to be staying with, and I didnt even have to ask. I was waiting to see if I was going to have to ask about it. Im trying to keep my distance from the whole thing, I dont really want to talk about it at all. I feel the way I feel, and he's gonna do what he's gonna do. No point in getting me all upset for nothing. I get upset very easily anyway, we dont need to exploit that.

*sigh* I've got a cancor on my tongue and it hurts like fuck. Well most fucking doesnt hurt, just doggie style, but saying "it hurts like doggie style" just isnt kosher. Its to the point where I cant eat comfortably or let it get too dry. I was told by the lady I share a cube with at work not to eat any salt. No chips, no fries, no popcorn. Its hard to survive at work eating no chips. There's nothing else really that I can have. Dry food like cookies and bread hurt my tongue. If I get soup I like my soup salty so there goes that. Hot or warm food hurts. So Im limited to wet, cold food. I'll have to work on this some more. Im going to the movies Sunday night and I dont know what the hell Im going to eat. I have a thing that I have to eat something during a movie that Im watching. Normally I'll get popcorn. Now I cant fricken eat popcorn, or at least until my tongue gets better.

Urgh!!!

Double urgh!!!

Im going to bed.



{Wednesday, September 3}
Blech.

As usual Im at work and I want to hang myself with my headset cord. Im off tomorrow though. Tomorrow I have to make the dreaded trip to the bank and beg for a loan to purchase a new car. I have visions of being denied because on more than one occasion I made a late payment on my phone bill. On top of the whole mixup that went on when I started paying off my Student Loan. Ugh, stress.

Boyfriend is going away next weekend. Double ugh, more stress. We had issues upon issues upon friggin issues both terms last year when he was away at school. I dont know if I would have stayed with him if he had gone back to school there this year after what I went through last year. Even though he's only going away for a weekend (to visit friends he went to school with) Im getting kinda antsy about it. I suppose Im just stressed about getting a car loan so its spilling out onto other things.

I think I need a new hairstyle. I need a new something. A new car would be nice. I dont think I want a new boyfriend, Im too comfortable where Im at with the one I've got to even think about starting over with someone new. Although I wouldnt mind if our relationship progressed a little. Im about ready to move out even though my parents cant afford for me to move out. He's thinking about going to community college in a different area of the province. I may go with him. I was thinking about going to school next September anyway, although at a different school than what he's planning. I've got a year to decide and save up money.

In good news, well I cant really think of any good news. Maybe later..


its all a beautiful blur

I am a twenty-seven year old Canadian girl. This is my blog.

Skin and tragedy always attract a crowd. (June 18th, 1976 by Pedro the Lion)

I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
(Breathe (2am) by Anna Nalick)


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